Beacause I was a child of the 80's, Happy Birthday Roscoe P. Coltrane!



And because it would have been super cool to be a child in the 60's...Happy Birthday Mick Jagger!

Nothing & Everything

Do you ever wonder why you dream the things you do? My dream last night involved the VP of the company I work for - shirtless & picking me up for work and a poodle. (I didn't eat late & I didn't eat anything weird)

A new week is upon us & I suspect that any of the things I have planned will fall through. Fall through what I have no idea but I doubt anything goes as I intend. Included in those plans are two nights in a work out class. Tonight is cardio and Thursday involves boxing. Me, a boxer, try to picture that. Another inclusion is no hooch until Friday evening which involves a large Mexican feast for 10 guests. I am already feeling the anxiety of preparing a perfect meal in a perfectly clean home.

I think of all the people in my life. I can't remember one person ever coming in or going out of my life that has caused me to stand still. That sounds awful & maybe it is. It could be why I only do things for 5 years and start over.

I wonder if when I were born and my mother first saw me did she think to herself -"there is my little fuck up". Awful, isn't it?

It's Good To Be Me

You have to love it when your regional district manager calls you and asks you to text him what you like from Starbucks the next morning.

My grande iced caramel macchiato - skinny with an extra shot just arrived on my desk. Ahhh, its good to be me!

Motley Crue & Poison - Biloxi

Disclaimer **I am not a photographer & these pictures were taken while holding two 16oz. draft beers & attempting to keep grown men from groping my grown boobs. The picture quality is bad & I don't need to be reminded**

I am terrified of growing old. Older in looks, older in health, older in manners. I have probably lived almost half of my life and to think I might have another 40 years to live, well it worries me.

I see older women in their Capri pants, thick sandals and it makes my stomach hurt.

I see older men and women eating breakfast or lunch staring at each other, chewing with their mouths open and not speaking to one another.

I see older couples with their obnoxious little ankle biters sitting on the dashboard of their cars while traveling down the road.

I see older women carrying handbags with all of those awful outside compartments.

Older women in their elastic waist band pants because they now are the only comfortable things they can wear.

Older women who don't cinch their boobs up and they hang ever so vulgarly at their waist line.

Older couples watching the younger couples walk by with disdain in their eyes.

The older people who only talk about their gout, colonoscopies and doctor appointments.

The older people who apply for jobs and never get them.

The older people who are so firmly set in their ways they will never try anything new.

I saw an older lady last night, a niece of my mother's husband. I asked my mother her age and she said she was probably 57. The woman was on a motorized scooter mover. She has lost one leg and it was replaced with a prosthetic. She was using oxygen and she was large in size. Her face was very moon shaped and her movements were so slow, almost sloth like. Her hair was longer with gray in it and pulled into a barrette. She had on a blue knit suit and no bra. I noticed how her breasts just flopped (that sounds so vulgar) to the side and I doubt she had any concern with her breasts not being in correct position as they appear to be the least of her worries. I assumed someone has to take care of her on a daily basis. Instead of having sympathy for her I felt embarrassed for her. I thought of her quality of life and how I wished to never be in that shape and if I were --- I had rather not live.

I don't want to grow old. I can't stop the aging process, yet, but I am doing all I can to slow it down.

He's A Yankee Doodle Dandy....

He's a Yankee Doodle Boy!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Price Survey

$3.32 !!!! The 4th of July is just days away and the gas price per gallon is creeping down. I may not have to take another mortgage out on my home now and I can discontinue the selling of my body to dirty old men. Things are looking up!

Sing Along Time

Such good stuff...

Well, I've got to run to keep from hidin',
And I'm bound to keep on ridin'.
And I've got one more silver dollar,
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no,
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

And I don't own the clothes I'm wearing,
And the road goes on forever,
And I've got one more silver dollar,
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

And I've gone past the point of caring,
Some old bed I'll soon be sharing,
And I've got one more silver dollar,

But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

No, I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

No, I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

Midnight Rider ~~ Allman Brothers

Chickens & Cats - You Decide

While eating my Chobani yogurt and reading the news this morning, I came across this irritating article . When did gender neutralization become the "it" thing? Girls are girls regardless of their sexual orientation or preference. Boys are boys in the same way. Girls can get pregnant, boys can't. Girls have a menstrual cycle, boys don't. Boys grow facial and chest hair, most girls don't. Boys have an Adam's apple, girls don't. Grown men have throbbing hard cocks, um, most girls don't. Grown women have breasts that can nurture and feed their own children, men don't. Girls wear make up and its not really cool for boys to. Teaching a child to be who they want to be is one thing but not teaching a child what is appropriate for little boys and what is appropriate for little girls is another. "Little Jimmy you have a penis because you are a boy. Boys have a penis". "Little Kathy, you have a vagina because you are a girl. Girls have vaginas". "No little Jimmy you can't have a vagina because you have a penis and Little Kathy you can't have a penis because you have a vagina". "Yes, I know you were taught to choose what you wanted to be but Mother Nature made the choice for you. I am sorry I can't change that and misled you into a confusing decision".

When I was a wee little thing I played trucks with my boy cousins. Those same cousins played dolls with me. I even had a pair of boy cowboy boots and wore a football jersey. I wasn't trying to decide if wanted to be a boy or girl I was only wearing what I liked. Does anyone remember It's Pat from Saturday Night Live? To me, that was one of the most disturbing skits in entertainment history. No one knew what the fuck Pat was so no one knew how to treat her/him/it. So raise your kids to let them decide if they want to be a boy or girl. Let them be mistreated and bullied at school because the boys sit down to pee and carry a purse because you said it was ok. Let the girls use the same locker room as the boys so she can be labeled the school whore because in your eyes there should be equality. All of your precious little creatures will end up right here as an embarrassing joke for the entire world to enjoy. Go right ahead and may your life be as miserable as you have made theirs.

My True Weirdness

I think bruises are sexy. No, not a blacked eye type of bruise. Nope, not a stawberry/bruise caused by sliding into second base. Uh-uh, not the type of bruises elderly folks get because they just barely bumped a counter edge. The kind of bruise I admire is one right above the knee, on your hip, not very dark just barely blue under the skin. Possibly caused by somone holding onto you ever so tightly.

I am weird but am wonderful in my weirdness!

Wooo-Hoooo!

Eight more hours & this 'effin week is ovah! Happy thoughts & good drinks to you all!

A British Invasion Plus Two

Heart was the opening act for Def Leppard at the Wharf Amphitheater (make your jokes if you must). Ann Wilson hasn't lost it...she still has a major set of pipes on her.

Que Def Leppard. Joe Elliot even did wardrobe changes. Anyone who can wear leather in Orange Beach, Alabama during June is a rock n roll god to me. They finished their set & encored with Rock Of Ages.












"Thank you. We'll be back. Don't forget about us, we won't forget about you". ~~ Joe Elliot, Def Leppard

Celebrate and Grab Some Buds!

Don't blink, blink and you're dead.

Go West Young Man

Its Friday. Just thought I'd drop that morsel of happiness to you all in case none of you knew. At 1:00 pm today I will be heading slightly west to New Orleans for a weekend of relaxing and doing much of nothing else. I shall think of you all when I am sipping my rum runner at Margaritaville, drinking a hurricane at Pat O'Brien's, having beignets and cafe ole at Cafe Du Monde and finally eating dinner at the Commander's Palace.

Have a good weekend!

It won't be long now. A month to be exact and this will be the site to behold around Biloxi as my long time beau will be in town. Speak if you see us and I'll be sure to send drinks over.

All Aboard the Cougar Train

An employee has jumped ship. He has swam toward the horizon for larger and grander things. Before going overboard we had a little bye-bye for him. It started at Champy's with Champy's Lager, then onto California Dreaming with vodka cocktails and finishing at Stix with Salty Dogs.

Arriving at Stix we all chose to be seated at the bar and only 6 of us were in tow. Nate, the man of the hour, chose a seat between his wife and an anonymous woman. Beside the anonymous woman was one more anonymous woman. Anonymous lady no. 1 was in hot pursuit of some young dick. Nate wasn't in rare form but a good form and he was hamming it up in Cougarville. Anonymous lady no. 2 asked me in drunken whisper if that was his wife and I told her yes. Anonymous no. 2 began to tell Anonymous no. 1 that he was married and that was his wife. It didn't matter she was still trying to work it and she was working it hard. I believe I heard this "You've been a bad boy, now go to MY bedroom". It was pure spectacle for the rest of us to behold.

Before departing we all got around to names. I asked Anonymous lady no. 2 what her name was. Before we get to her name I'll share with you that she was large, had a severe Cajun accent and had dark frizzy hair. Her response "Coffee". I repeated it to her. She said "yes because I like to grind", all while actually grinding on the bar stool. 'Effin' awesome!

Price Survey

Right now gas is $3.50 at Sam's Club, at other c-stores the price is $3.53 - $3.55. That is down $.06 in less than a week. I truly believe it is the calm before the storm. I am on a beach route and I expect gas prices to sky rocket as the 4th of July holiday weekend approaches.

WTF?!