Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Post Do-Over - First Blog Post

Below is my first blog post(really):

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

My First Blog

This isn't really my first blog. I blogged once about a year ago and haven't blogged since. So, here I go again. As I write this I wonder what type of blogger I will be? A serious blogger? A funny blogger? A sad blogger? A daily blogger? What exactly is a blog? An online diary? Is it really a diary when the world has the opportunity to read it without being caught in the act? Myspace without the pictures? Who knows but I must say I am most excited about being a part of the blogging community. My life is not in shambles today nor was it near ruin yesterday and safely escaping Mardi Gras has been a great victory in itself. With that being read, I must safely escape my blog for now and last but not least welcome to my blog spot.

Posted by Kimberly at 11:34 AM

Say it with me now -- CHEESEY!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Have you ever thought about trademarks? Goldie Hawn's hair has remained pretty much the same after she graduated from being the Sock It To Me Gal on Laugh In. Whoopi Goldberg has her dreads. Kenny Rogers and his coiffed silver locks & facial hair. Tom Selleck's & Burt Reynold's mustaches. Ricky Boboy's ability to piss excellence in the morning. Eddie Van Halen's red & white guitar. Elton John's super flashy over the top costumes. Gene Simmon's tongue (has to be natural). Willie Nelson's braids. Dolly Parton's boobs. George Strait and his hat. Lucille Ball's red hair. Mariah Carey & her butterfly bullshit. Boy George's make-up. George Michael's 5 o' clock shadow (I mean Boy George's make up). Tina Turner's legs (again, au natural). Angus Young's school boy outfits. The Una Bomber and his hoodie. Heff & his half mullet. The mafia and their baseball bats. I mean, there are just somethings you can't fuck with.

I wonder if their style starts out as an accident & then when a subtle change happens the ratings decline & then they have to revert & it soars?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I Want To Rock n Roll All Night

“The notion is that if you want to welcome me with open arms, I'm afraid you're also going to have to welcome me with open legs.” ~~ Gene Simmons

Happy Birthday Gene Simmons!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Once upon a time there was semi-small brunette girl who thought of ways to save the world or at least fix her shit. In those thoughts which ran through the night and throughout most of her days she didn't get anywhere. She thought of things she should have said to this person and things she should have done in that situation. To no avail nothing ever got better and there was very little change. Not wanting to be one to fail she kept specific notes and daily affirmations in eye view as unfortunate daily reminders:

YSL Tribute Bag
Use Michael Kors store credit
Oink, Oink!
I'd like to be a MILF?
Asian Night
Wedding vows to Nikki
No fast food
8 minutes = 1/2 mile
Do blondes really have more fun?
Mantra - "I am tall & beautiful, I love my family & they love me".
Bay window curtain rods
Cupcake practice
Where are my freakin' Costas?
Find a new (any) coke dealer
Schmooze with rich aunt
"Set me free"

As the days stroll by unforgivably, the little brunette who could's check/to do list never gets any smaller. If anything the little pink notes multiply, never decreasing.

Stupid ass lists, I hate you.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Do We Have Something In Common?

Before going to work this morning I stopped at convenience store near the office to grab a bottle of water. When I pulled into the parking I saw an extremely tall, a circus's strongest man in the world type (shaved head, large build, leopard leotard) walking into the store. I guess he saw me and in seeing me saw that I was a chick and decided to stand at the door and hold it open for me. Nice, right? I saunter into the store toward the back to get my drink. I walk back to the front to pay & leave.

The tall man was standing in line and I fell in behind him. He turned to me and made a lip pursing gesture. Ok, he liked my lipstick? I looked away because it was so uncomfortable. Then he turned the other way and looked at me and licked his lips. Ok, now he has something on his mouth? All the while contorting his mouth he is having a conversation with the clerk about a job he had to do in Buckatunna, Mississippi this morning.

He pays and lingers. I pay and head for the door. He holds the door for me once again & begins to have a conversation with me. It began like this "you are hot". Did you get that lovely readers? I was hot. Before I could even say anything in rebuttal he solicits "do you want to get together?". I responded with a no, he wants to know why, I said I have a boyfriend, he says we have something in common and I say "you have a boyfriend too?". He says I have a wife and I said well that is a good reason not to. He then says "aww come on, live a little, let me get your number". I said thanks for the offer but no thanks, have a good day. He winked and I got into my car.

I assumed my boobs were all that boobs were intended to be this morning & my hair was exceptionally smooth but at the convenience store? Yep, that just happened.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Life is Tough...

It is Michelob Ultra not Michelob Ultra Light.

The use of the word muse in any blog title irritates me. I have no specific reason why but it does.

Am I the only one who thinks wearing shorts, flip flops and tank tops to church is inapropriate and rude? Am I the only one who thinks bringing a soda into church to drink during a service is rude? I understand that attending church is far more casual than in the days of yore. I suppose it is true that God doesn't care what you look like as long as you show up - but shouldn't you take a little more pride in yourself?

Why is enough never enough?

When will people catch a clue and realize that their screaming kids aren't cute or even tolerable?

Why do we bitch and cry about our jobs and relationships and never immediately do anything about them?

"Life is tough, but its tougher when you're stupid". ~~ John Wayne

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