I am terrified of growing old. Older in looks, older in health, older in manners. I have probably lived almost half of my life and to think I might have another 40 years to live, well it worries me.

I see older women in their Capri pants, thick sandals and it makes my stomach hurt.

I see older men and women eating breakfast or lunch staring at each other, chewing with their mouths open and not speaking to one another.

I see older couples with their obnoxious little ankle biters sitting on the dashboard of their cars while traveling down the road.

I see older women carrying handbags with all of those awful outside compartments.

Older women in their elastic waist band pants because they now are the only comfortable things they can wear.

Older women who don't cinch their boobs up and they hang ever so vulgarly at their waist line.

Older couples watching the younger couples walk by with disdain in their eyes.

The older people who only talk about their gout, colonoscopies and doctor appointments.

The older people who apply for jobs and never get them.

The older people who are so firmly set in their ways they will never try anything new.

I saw an older lady last night, a niece of my mother's husband. I asked my mother her age and she said she was probably 57. The woman was on a motorized scooter mover. She has lost one leg and it was replaced with a prosthetic. She was using oxygen and she was large in size. Her face was very moon shaped and her movements were so slow, almost sloth like. Her hair was longer with gray in it and pulled into a barrette. She had on a blue knit suit and no bra. I noticed how her breasts just flopped (that sounds so vulgar) to the side and I doubt she had any concern with her breasts not being in correct position as they appear to be the least of her worries. I assumed someone has to take care of her on a daily basis. Instead of having sympathy for her I felt embarrassed for her. I thought of her quality of life and how I wished to never be in that shape and if I were --- I had rather not live.

I don't want to grow old. I can't stop the aging process, yet, but I am doing all I can to slow it down.