A Ton of Bricks

It hit and I find myself running toward life and not away from it. When you find something you can't live without and you feel in your heart that you deserve it. Wow, what a feeling.

Mama Ruth

Tim McGraw's newest song is titled 'Southern Voice'. There is a line in the song that goes like this:

It's Hi Ya'll, did you eat well?
Come on in, I'm sure glad to know to know ya

My daddy's mother, my grandmother - Mary Ruth Atchison, a fabulously put together who woman would say something like this if you came to her home or if she just met you in the shoe department at Dillard's. Mama Ruth's hair was always perfectly done, her Estee Lauder make-up always smooth, her nails manicured, clothes sequined, satined or made of linen were pressed so perfectly you could balance a quarter on the creases, a fan of Etienne Aigner bags, who once said "you can tell the difference between a designer shoe and a cheap shoe the second you slip your foot in it", styled and dressed to the nines any hour of the day, she never introduced me as Kimberly or Kim but used my full formal name Miss Kimberly Dionne Atchison, this woman never met a stranger and those who met her loved her.

Mama Ruth taught me to cross stitch, how to cross my legs like a lady and to never say "I'm full" but instead "I have plenty". She was a ladies' lady.

You would never feel left out in her presence and she would most certainly go out of her way to speak to you or make you feel at home.

I lived with her and my Papa while I was in college and then for a little while after graduation. After Papa died in 1996 I was still in her residence and one afternoon after work I came through the back door and I found her sitting on the end of her bed with her head down and I sat beside her and asked "whats the matter" and Mama Ruth said "I am just so blue". She was that kind of person - not over dramatic but got her point across.

Mama Ruth passed away in 2000 from an aneurysm, and she still appears in my dreams ever so often. I hope there is a little of her in me.

Not So Sweet November

I've mentioned in this very corner of the blogosphere that November historically is not a good month for me. Its not good for several reasons but the 3 main reasons are these:

My first boyfriend of 4 years died on November 11th.

I was married on November 25th.

My ex-husband delivered the front page news on November 11th that it was over between he and I.

Lots of activity particularly on the 11th which is why I chose today to make my proclamation - today will be my last post regarding my former married life, my ex-husband or any shrewdness expressed toward men/boys/giraffes who brandishes the name Justin. November will no longer be hated, despised or dreaded for bringing dates to mind that are surrounded by loss or painful memories. I have been checking the 'single' box on any and all applications since that very day never wanting to acknowledge that I had all too soon became a statistic - a "dee-vorce-ay". I hereby free myself from my discontented past. No more tears over what happened or what will never happen. No more. I am letting it go and I am moving forward. Goodbye Old November, you were never good to me. Hello Sweet November, you have 30 days to not fuck up.

Sing Along Time

This is one my favorite songs because it reminds me of my most favorite person. Put those two things - favorite songs & favorite people - together and you then have a history or a past or a future.

I've been really tryin', baby
Tryin' to hold back this feelin' for so long
And if you feel like I feel, baby
Then come on, oh, come on
Whoo, let's get it on
Ah, babe, let's get it on
Let's love, baby
Let's get it on, sugar
Let's get it on
Whoo-ooh-ooh

We're all sensitive people
With so much to give
Understand me, sugar
Since we got to be
Let's live
I love you

There's nothin' wrong
With me lovin' you
Baby, no, no
And givin' yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true
Oh, babe, ooh, ooh

Don't you know
How sweet and wonderful life can be?
Whoo-ooh
I'm askin' you, baby
To get it on with me
Ooh, ooh, ooh

I ain't gonna worry, I ain't gonna push
Won't push you, baby
So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, baby
Stop beatin' 'round the bush, hey

Let's get it on, ooh, ooh
Let's get it on
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Come on, baby, hey, hey
Let your love come out
If you believe in love
Let's get it on, ooh, ooh
Let's get it on, baby
This minute, oh yeah
Let's get it on
Please, please, get it on
Hey, hey

I know you know
What I've been dreamin' of
Don't you, baby?
My whole body is in love
Whoo

Gonna get it on
Beggin' you, baby, I want to get it on
You don't have to worry that it's wrong
If the spirit moves you, let me groove you good
Let your love come down
Oh, get it on, come on, baby

Do you know I mean it?
I've been sanctified
Hey, hey
Girl, you give me good feelings, so good

Nothin' wrong with love
If you want to love me
Just let yourself go
Oh, baby
Let's get it on

Lets Get It On ~~ Marvin Gaye

Emotional Callbacks

I am a lover of Sex and the City. The cable show, the movie and everything that swirls around it. One of my favorite quotes is from the very last episode - An American Girl in Paris, Part Deux:

Big : "It took me a really long time to get here, but I'm here. Carrie, you're the one."

I've seen this episode probably, roughly, round aboutly - 22 times. Every time it pulls the same emotions from me - loneliness, hopeful, smitten, angry. Yeah, yeah its just a cable TV show that no longer airs but it still gets me.

Unfortunately my name is not Carrie nor am I dating Big but for $200 we can legally change our names.