Tuesday, November 30, 2010

When I am feeling down or just having a bad hair day I turn to this crazy part of the interweb. Why do you ask? It's a strange addiction. Some people turn to shopping or chococlate. But really, most of these pictures have to be staged. This nation just can't have that many eff'd up people in it.

Monday, November 29, 2010


Not really. It was said directly to me:

"Hey, Ann its Kim - do you have an order?"

"Yeah. Hold on let me get my cigarette. I'll be damned if I am gonna let it burn. They cost too much."

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gobble til you wobble!

Monday, November 22, 2010

I Woke With These Things On My Mind

Why in the world would you ever buy a desktop PC & not a laptop?

I believe Christmas is still full of magic no matter how old I get.

Even though I am 35 years old, I tell myself I am almost 40 and I still can't grasp the idea that I am getting older.

I still feel like a child.

I can't believe that my life has turned out like it has. All of those plans made sitting in my room alone, none happened as I had mapped out

I feel overwhelmed daily by the rush of the world. There is much that needs to get done in such a short time.

I have a cocktail EVERY evening regardless of any event going on in my world.

I make jewelry. Jewelry of all things in the world. Its fun and I love doing it.

Dogs are the sweetest little things in the world. Not just my dogs but all dogs.

I used to cry every day. Now, I hardly cry at all.

Why couldn't I think of post-its or paper clips?

I can't believe 7 & 8 year olds get their eyebrows waxed.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

You Read it Here First

I have several loves in my life:

Nikki Sixx
Fabulously Overpriced Designer Handbags
and Ryan Reynolds.

As in several posts before I have hinted at my private relationshipwith Ryan especially after his disengagemnt from Alanis Morrisette and his cover marriage to Scarlett Johannson. So it should come as no suprise that he was dubbed Sexiest Man Alive by People Magazine but because I am smart which makes you smart, you read it here first.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Help Me Help You

Lots of uproar about texting and driving these days and I understand its just a hot topic right now. Some states are making it illegal to text and drive. So what if they do? If you were texting and driving and you get caught - from what the media portrays - you are probably dead anyway. Or maybe you escaped the scene unscathed but were handcuffed and put in the clink. "What are you in for", "oh, uh, texting and driving".

I am not a texter. I don't text. I barely use my cell phone just for chatting so making it illegal doesn't really apply to me.

What I am saying is drinking and driving is illegal. People still do it. I mean, I'll make a "roadie" in a second. What about talking on the phone, men shaving, women applying make up, reading a book (for real), giving hand jobs or getting a blow job, reaching for something that fell onto the floor or slapping a snotty nosed, screaming kid. Any of these could cause accidents and ultimately a fatality.

So why all the screaming about texting and driving?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

November 11th

I knew a man called him Sandy Kane
Few folks even knew his name
But a hero was he
Left a boy, came back a man
Still many just don't understand
About the reasons we are free

I can't forget the look in his eyes
Or the tears he cries
As he said these words to me

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

Now Sandy Kane is no longer here
But his words are oh so clear
As they echo through out our land
For all his friends who gave us all
Who stood the ground and took the fall
To help their fellow man

Love your country and live with pride
And don't forget those who died America can't you see

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall, yes recall
Some gave all

Some gave all

Some Gave All ~~ Billy Ray Cyrus

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Thank You, I Guess

My mom and I went to an art & crafts festival last weekend. She ran into a friend of hers whom I never met so I was introduced to her. After they chitted and chatted for a couple of minutes, mom and I went on our way not before her friend exclaimed "your daughter is beautiful". My phone rings this morning before 6:30 am and it is my mother. I freak out when my phone rings early in the morning because early morning and late night calls never bring about good news. So mom is all yippee and yappy and says I have to tell you this - remember Mary you met last weekend?, sure I say. Mom then says well she came into work this morning and in front everyone just went on and on about how beautiful, pretty you were - your daughter is just pretty she says. My thought process - well, isn't that special, she must just feel really sorry for me because no one would ever say "holy fuck, your daughter favors a mule eating briars". I didn't say that to my mom because it pisses her off when I do it & she gets all feisty and says "can't you just take a compliment?". No, I can't.

How do you take compliments?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Does This Make My Butt Look Big?

Gracie posed - I snapped. Nope, the camera does not add 10 lbs.

Monday, November 8, 2010

It Hit Me...

I am 35 years old - Thirty-five. Wow. Not necessarily old but definitely old enough. Some days I feel so young and vibrant. Others I feel dated and used. I'd say its time for a change. Time to do and feel as I want too. Wouldn't you?

Amazing what adding or taking an hour from your day can do ie. daylight savings. What if 2 hours were added to each day. Midnight would be 14:00 am. Hours at the office stay the same - still working from 7-4, 8-5 etc. but 2 hours were added per day for personal use. Would it make a difference?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Close Enough!

Halloween is over which means one thing to me, I can now decorate for Christmas! Hush now, my decorating is fabulously and directly under radar, well defined as not tacky. White twinkle lights adorn my front door, every bush & shrub in front of my home. Poinsettia topiaries keeping watch as you look through the glass door and see multi-colored lights dancing passionately on a Douglas Fir covered with a lifetime of ornament collecting. Single bulb white candles lit in every window. Green garland and white lights placed over and around the fire place with a pair golden reindeer standing guard. Blue and silver pillows tossed onto the couch beckoning for you to sit and have a holiday libation while while the Nut Cracker watches from the coffee table. Red and white pillar and taper candles everywhere. A smaller tree in the dining room decorated with blown glass hummingbirds and cardinals of all kinds as scents of cinnamon waft through the halls. Three sizes of red cone Christmas trees glitzing and glazing in the middle of the dining room table. The sound of jingle bells coming from all directions, oh but not from reindeer, but from my the collars of my dogs! Linen dish towels stitched up and down with Christmas greetings and the most beautiful "old tyme" Fitz & Floyd Santa Claus cookie jar you could ever imagine sitting in the middle of my kitchen counter.

Don't you wish you were my neighbor?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

That Is Exactly What I Said

As some of you may recall, last year I posted about the fair. I don't attend the fair because I am a fan or because it meets a need. I attend to support my employer's community outreach program - Consumer Awareness & Education. Attending and supporting means I sit in a booth and talk to the comers and goers about responsible parenting, under age drinking and other do-gooder subjects. Next door to our booth was another community booth which housed a very, very nice woman who I chatted it up with when I was not educating the public.

The lady is maybe 40-43 years of age, she has a couple children, two teen aged girls, which puts her in a 20 year, give or take a year marriage.

Her husband worked nights, was home all day. She worked normal hours, was home at night. Her jobs included subbing at her daughter's school, cleaning houses and animal rescue which at the moment has 38 pets that need good homes (hint, hint).

Not sure what straw broke her husband's back but he packed his shit up and left, you know the old fashioned way. The leaving wasn't that long ago so she is still under stress trying to make ends meet. In her review of her life, she now sees his leaving as a blessing.

This is where it gets interesting: Not sure how we got onto this part of her life but I think it sort of started because another booth housed a security company display, complete with video cameras. In my good nature, I was poking my derriere out and looking at it in the camera, you know just to pass the time, and chanting "not up in here!". I think she said something that sounded like "nothing has been up in here since 2001". Let me type that again "nothing has been up in here since 2001." As the record scratched, I asked her did you say what I think you just said, she said "yup". Surely she must be from Planet Bullshit? So here's the deal - no, and lets just be blunt, cock for 9 years. Her 30's, when women sexually peek were dry as a fucking bone! She said her husband had an issue with porn. When he was home all day he looked at porn and I would imagine flogged the bishop while watching. He couldn't perform, or didn't want to perform with her due to his porn passion. She continued to say that his father had the same problem. So while he was controlling her life, by choosing her clothing and what jobs she could have, he was having a field day playing with his own "control". She told me she had bought a vibrator and he found it and threw it away. Bastard. She never let temptation get the best of her & I have no idea how. After nine years, I hate to say it, I would have to release my inner whore.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Sometimes I Wonder...

Why people leave their house looking like they do. No comb through their hair, no shower or clothes that are ill fitting.

Why chivalry, manners and politeness is no longer looked for. Manners are important to me, so very important.

Why people don't put on their best for Sunday church. I know, God doesn't care what you look like or what you wear, but I think effort is duly noted, yes?

Why parents let their children run their lives, why parents no longer parent.

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