Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Happy New Year!

Last year for my New Year's resolutions I gave up, oh geez I can't even remember - I think reading the newspaper and crack? Both were a success and this year I resolve to:

Give up 4 days during the week with cocktails
Take back 3 of the 4 days I gave up during the week with cocktails
Stalk Nikki Sixx less
Stalk Ryan Reynolds more
Create a better savings plan
Learn to like kids a little more

What are your resolutions?

Happy New Year Everyone!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Due to the Christmas Season

A warm feeling came over me yesterday as I was doing some quick shopping during lunch. A small white car was parked in front of a sign that read "no parking" but the car was also parked half way in a good parking spot which caused ME not to be able to park in the good spot.

Because I am good Christian woman I left a nice note on their car window, it went like this:

If you fuck like you park you'll never get in. Next time leave a can opener. Merry Christmas.

Then my warm feeling went away...

Monday, December 20, 2010

Don't ask me because I don't know how I could ever forget. Happy belated birthday & yes, I am a shitty girlfriend.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

As all good and just children of the 80's shared in the music video revolution, I still watch the Morning Video Block on VH1 Classic. I was lucky to catch this little diddy, watched it and the weirdest feeling came over, a feeling of pure uncomfortableness.

Have you ever tumbled for anyone?

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

OK people lets get this straight - Nikki Sixx and I are an item. Have been for sometime. I barely tolerated the Kat Von D rumors and now new rumors are oozing that Nikki is dating Denise Richards. I am so sick of the bullshit & I know it has to be done to derail his relationship with me. So for the record, Nikki and I are whole heartedly in love & are together with each other complete with matching skull rings.


To be more clear - Ryan Reynolds and I are "really good friends". He lives in my closet and I try him on from time to time. I am sorry for the demise of his marriage to Scarlett. She is a dear, sweet and charming gal but again, Ryan and I are "really good friends" and I have/had nothing to do with the faltering of his marriage. Swear.

Everyone clear on this? Good.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Christmas Wish List

Nikki Sixx wrapped in a big red bow
Magnum bottle of Ketel One
Thinner thighs with a J. Lo booty


World Peace

Monday, December 13, 2010

When in the world did bacon and cupcakes become such popular food items?

Why does Saturn have rings?

Why haven't any of you sent me Christmas gifts?

Why haven't any of you sent me birthday gifts?

Why is a vagina called a pussy?

Why is a penis called a cock?

Who coined the term "blow job"? The job part I get but the blowing?

Why do most men become better looking with age?

I could consort with the world wide web for all of the answers but I prefer to ask you all.

(You have 12 days to get presents to me)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

Well people as we head into December, 5 days in to be exact, the emotions are beginning to unfold. A tear hear, a sniffle there, soon to be found with full blown sobbing sitting on the closet floor. Why do the holidays bring me so much grief when Christmas for so long was all I looked forward to? In truth, I don't know. Maybe because I don't have a family of my own - no kiddies, no memories of a swollen belly, no milestone jewelry to be unwrapped. The holidays are filled with so much flibbity flab, sometimes I want to run away from home and spend Christmas all alone atop of Mt. Crumpit, well if you consider I and a bottle of Ketel One alone and not a couple, then yes, alone would do nicely.

I hate to be such a Grinch but really, Christmas makes me feel lonely.

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons.
It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." ~~ The Grinch

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I heard about Wikileaks weeks ago and honestly I felt like it was just some nerdy, bullied guy who had nothing better to do and decided to hack this or break into that and I thought nothing more of it, I mean after all what can I do with secret government ops?

I was watching a show on the History channel last night about presidential secrets which mentioned Wikileaks. Conspiracies and secrets intrigue me. So I checked it out this morning. I watched a youtube video named Collateral Murder which bothered me because of the way the pilots and "shooters" were speaking and I tried to look at the Iraq War Logs but as soon as I clicked the link my entire Internet shut down. I find that just a little weird.

What do you think about governmental intelligence being accessed by an outsider? What do you think about governmental intelligence being able to be accessed at all?

I can't help but think some things should remain "on the inside". I mean its the government, what can you do? Sure, you can educate the nation but what good will it do? People are steadfast in their political beliefs and stands - some still believe in our government, that it works and its ways are right and I can't touch that with a 100 foot pole.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

Some have heard people say "it's good money". In my experience, I've never gotten bad money.

Trimming the tree? Why is it called trimming when you are really fattening it up by adding decorations.

After Thanksgiving has passed I feel like the holidays are already over. Its already December 1st and I find myself on the verge of tears because Christmas will be over in 24 days. It's overwhelming.

Cold fronts. Before now, I just knew it would get colder as the year drew to a close. Now I have to listen to weather people talk about cold fronts - this bothers me because I know the cold will be fleeting. Remember when the weather folks just threw pictures of suns, rain and clouds on a magnetic board and pointed?

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