Slit My Throat, Please

The words musings, muse, random & rants still get on my nerves. Aren't all blogs random? And our thoughts, random? Do you have to announce it? "Hello, this is my blog space and I have random thoughts and random rants and I am just a random woman and I write"...uh, huh. Tell us you have a random cock that writes, bet your readership will increase greatly.

How many of you wake up wild eyed & bushy tailed on a daily basis? For me, its probably 5 out of 7 days but somewhere between the first morning tinkle and the final rinse off in the shower it becomes crazy eyed and my tail tucked between my legs like a scalded dog. How does de-motivation come so quickly? Daily, I daydream of being a better person, enriching my life, going the extra mile by learning humility, contentment and gaining wisdom. Those day dreams fly right out the window.

I am a loner by my own definition: because I am an only child. I need very little human interaction to be happy. I am not my own best friend but I serve the purpose. There was a time of grand socializing in my life. A time when every day and night was filled with some kind of activity: breafast, lunch, dinner, cocktails, dances, parties, weekend get-a-ways. Not really sure how I did it, because I had so little money, but I did it and I did it well. Even when sick, I prefer to ride it out alone. Then I think about getting older when I am laying on the bathroom floor in my Depends, puking, feverish and sucking my thumb like a two year old child, who will take care of me? Who would want to? Tom Cruise, Oprah Winfrey, Ricky Bobby? Surely there will be a time when I will crave the love and caring hands of another.

Sorry, Ricky Martin is in town.