What's Fair?

The fair is in town. When I was a child or even in my early teens - the fair was the stuff dreams were made of - cotton candy, hot guys, loud music & the smell of those you know you aren't supposed too - menthal cigarettes. As age has crept up and always on time, I've come to notice the fair is the stuff nightmares are made of. Not because of freaky side show tents featuring the snake woman, the world's largest rat and Korky the Clown or the "carnies" beckoning you to their junkie tin can rides with a sneer suggesting they could peel off your skin with the only two black teeth in their head, hide your body which would never be found in the grease trap to the funnel cake booth but because of the crowd the fair draws.

Some of us wait for Christmas morning, the day after Thanksgiving sales or for a bad hair cut to grow out but there are some who wait all year for the state fair. The people who wait for this festive event come in all sorts of thrasy flavors (for you bloggie readers who enjoy the fair, this does not mean you). The flavors include toothless, no bra wearing, dirty root rot hair having, camel toe lurking, trucker hat styling, mothers pushing a double baby stroller flaunting pants with the words "hit this" or "juicy" right across the ass, men boasting wife beaters with their white hairy bellies protruding from underneath, passles of kids snatching pens, golf tees and pamphlets advertising the services of Mr. Rooter from the booths in the exhibitor area because they are free, long haired hippy bikers decked out in all of their leather, overly fat people stuffing fried butter down their cake holes, young girls wearing shorts that would make Lady GaGa blush, older women wearing the same shorts and the token local train wreck celebrity who is a tatooed, overly tanned, pierced, coked up, always on her phone with an entourage of young skanks and old, dried up ladies with not one tooth in their mouth hoochie.

So you ask why do I subject myself to all of this? All I can say is who wouldn't? For the cost of $0 it is the best people watching anyone can experience.