Sunday, October 25, 2009

What's Fair?

The fair is in town. When I was a child or even in my early teens - the fair was the stuff dreams were made of - cotton candy, hot guys, loud music & the smell of those you know you aren't supposed too - menthal cigarettes. As age has crept up and always on time, I've come to notice the fair is the stuff nightmares are made of. Not because of freaky side show tents featuring the snake woman, the world's largest rat and Korky the Clown or the "carnies" beckoning you to their junkie tin can rides with a sneer suggesting they could peel off your skin with the only two black teeth in their head, hide your body which would never be found in the grease trap to the funnel cake booth but because of the crowd the fair draws.

Some of us wait for Christmas morning, the day after Thanksgiving sales or for a bad hair cut to grow out but there are some who wait all year for the state fair. The people who wait for this festive event come in all sorts of thrasy flavors (for you bloggie readers who enjoy the fair, this does not mean you). The flavors include toothless, no bra wearing, dirty root rot hair having, camel toe lurking, trucker hat styling, mothers pushing a double baby stroller flaunting pants with the words "hit this" or "juicy" right across the ass, men boasting wife beaters with their white hairy bellies protruding from underneath, passles of kids snatching pens, golf tees and pamphlets advertising the services of Mr. Rooter from the booths in the exhibitor area because they are free, long haired hippy bikers decked out in all of their leather, overly fat people stuffing fried butter down their cake holes, young girls wearing shorts that would make Lady GaGa blush, older women wearing the same shorts and the token local train wreck celebrity who is a tatooed, overly tanned, pierced, coked up, always on her phone with an entourage of young skanks and old, dried up ladies with not one tooth in their mouth hoochie.

So you ask why do I subject myself to all of this? All I can say is who wouldn't? For the cost of $0 it is the best people watching anyone can experience.


KrippledWarrior said...

I've always enjoyed going to the county fair. But in general I'm one of the leather clad bikers.

Frank said...

When I was growing up in Detroit, I think my closest equivalent to that was going down and watching the "colorful characters" at the Greyhound Bus station.


In my town they are the respectable church snobs.

BlazngScarlet said...

Geez, and my baby told me I looked GOOD with my cellulite covered ass hanging out of my short shorts with my braless tits bouncing allover the place.

Kimberly said...

Warrior - this does no apply to you. Leather does you good.

Frank - sadly, there were no greyhounds at the fair.

Uber - I'd rather be a snob than po' white trash.

Scarlet - girl, you look so good. Your shorts could been tighter & your tits coulda bounced a bit more - but I'd hit that in a second.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I would love to go people watching with you. Oh the fun we could have.


Hahaha : I love Ubermouth.



Not so tough after all, are we?


Kimberly said...

Uber - you broke me like a wild horse.

Bina said...

I LOVED your descriptions of people! I hate the fair. I really do. Those people scare me more than the rides do. But when I was young? Oh Lord how I loved it! My first french kiss was from an carny named Darrell. Damn he was good lookin', and I got to ride the rides for free! I was in 8th grade.

Thank God I grew up and have had MUCH better taste in men!

Kimberly said...

Bina - thank you sweet Jesus you left the carnie days behind you! You coulda been killed!

Just telling it like it is said...

What's wrong with not wearing a bra out in public? I prefer the freedom of having the chilly air cross my nippilage

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