Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Game Face

In my quest for the perfect body also known as the one I had in high school I sought advice from a fellow wordsmith. The advice given was this:

Stop stuffing your face. Cut your calorie intake to almost nothing.
Food is the enemy just look at what it has done to you.
Set a new goal every 3 days.
"Do something" for two hours every day. Note: doing something is meant to be done at the gym.

Not harsh, to the point and there was no pain in hearing said advice. So many others will tell you that its not healthy to, in short, not eat. Half times two = eat half as much and exercise twice as much than usual.

Then I asked to be motivated. The motivation given was this:

"I'd never fuck a fat chick".

Pretty harsh, to the point and I felt a sting. I thought "Disect the words and handle this". Any food item that was in my mouth, in my hand, in my desk drawer or in my pocket went directly to the bottom of the garbage can. Sure some of you ladies are saying "what a prick" or "men are filled with such douche baggery" maybe so but the person was honest at best. Some of you men say you like meatier gals and that any "pooty-poo" is good "pooty-poo" pudgy or not. I want no thoughts while I am underneath, on top of or having someone directly behind me thinking other than how good I feel, how much they love me or how awesome my boobs look. I want nothing to do with fat content entering anyone's mind when I'm circling the pleasure zone.

I find myself couple watching more than ever these days. The diversity of the human species is amazing: dumpy, perfect posture, short, tall, fat, skinny, long hair, red hair, no hair, buck teeth, no teeth, big boobs, fake boobs, Asian, Italian, trailer trash, freckled, dimpled, fair, dark, toned and tanned. In my observance I find it a rarity to behold a chubby man with an "above average" woman but see really chubby women with "above average" men. I define above average as - nice hair/good hair, handsome/attractive, not overweight, in shape, well dressed, well spoken. Why the role reversal here? Especially during the days of arm candy and trophy wives? Typically a woman says "as long as he treats me good, nothing else matters". I work with ALOT of men so I see and hear daily the barrage of cat calls, filthy gestures made with their manly members and the seductive lure of stepping into the supply closet for a little taboo favor swapping which says to me "I have fatty at home but will slap the ass of the hottie at work" harm, no foul, right?

I would never say about a man "I'd like to hit that or smoke that pole" unless the smoking hit involved Nikki Sixx (Heff, not one word). Men and women are wired so differently with so much competition. Ugh, let me put my game face on.


f1trey said...

what an asshole! you know I love you! But yeah...I guess people udnerestimate what it takes to get that body back so to speak....interesting ....if dieting were like your partner would you cheat on them after three weeks?? dieting is kinda the faithful to it and it will reward you.... cheat on it and..........

Bina said...

I always wonder how these nasty (cause let's admit it here, there are some dog-ugly fat men out there) men have good lookin's women. My husband always says it's because the man has money.

And I'm like you. I don't want NO man thinking about any type of jigglyness while we are getting jiggy wit it, ya know?

The Savage said...

No matter what the world thinks of you, the most important observation of you is from you. People keep telling me I look fine but every time I look in the mirror I see puny, spindly arms.... I'm working on them now. No more excuses....

Get the fit you want to get and let the reason be your own....

BamaTrav said...

Rises from the couch as a man autofelates himself on the floor and another sniffs his foot.

Just telling it like it is said...

You never mind those dawgs...Chemistry is where it is at..and women all have their unique assets...if you will. Here is one good thing..Having sex you can count on about burning 200 calories..and it doesn't even involve going to the gym unless you want it too...
Not eating though will make your metablolism slow down...moderate exercise burns more calories...because it is burning fat after 20 not training your heart! Its all about the balance. I used to be a strick disapline when I was younger and I am fighting the blugges every day but I'll be damned if I stay fit for a man..I do it for myself!!!
Off Soap box!! Your very smart, I like the way you write and that is something that most men don't have brains!

Just telling it like it is said...

p.s. I am not a man hater I swear..I love men...but I don't like it when they demand women to be stick thin to find them attractive...

The Savage said...

You're beautiful!

Kimberly said...

Trey - total asshole!

Bina - your man might be onto something. I'll take a sugar daddy...

Sav - it does matter what the world thinks. *sigh

Trav - speechless...

Just tellin - you fuckin' tell em like it is!

BlazngScarlet said...

Do you know why you see above average men with chubby women?
Those chubby women, myself included, love ourselves. We have confidence in spades and don't get caught up in the bullshit media that wants us all to not only be stick thin, but also to look 25 when we're in fact 50!
I adore my curves, and yeah, I jiggle. Would I like to be thinner? Hell yes! I work out daily and am quite healthy. But, certain facts have to be faced: I'm not a 20something (41), i've birthed 2 gorgeous boys and genetics.

I applaud you for wanting to get healthy (I refuse to say "diet" ... that word sets one up for failure), but be realistic and do it sensibly.
Be VERY honest with yourself ... is that body from high school what YOU really want, or what you think some man wants?

Above all, love yourself for who you are, be kinder to yourself and embrace the beauty that is uniquely you.

*steps off soap box*

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