Where?

Do you ever observe a couple, of the man/woman coupling type, and feel a little jealous? Jealous because of the way he looks at her, holds the door for her, guides her by the small of her back, brushes the hair from her face, kisses her hands? I do and I feel it often. Then I think, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. He probably keeps her tied up in a closet in dirty sweat pants. However, these couples look damn good in the public eye.

But my point is - why must the visual of another spark some deep desire for something that I do not have? Where is my hand kisser? My back guider? The love of all loves? The one who adores me, dotes over me, loves me with every fiber of their being? The one who would die without me?

I've been dating since I was 15! I'm exhausted! Where is he?
---Charlotte York