You Know Who You Are...

Checking my e-mail today - I came across one from a friend that contained this:

a reminder

if i get old,
i will not give in
but if i do,
remind me of this:

remind me that
once i was free,
once i was cool,
once i was me

and if i sat down and crossed my arms,
hold me onto this song

knock me out,
smash out my brains,
if i take a chair
and start to talk shit

if i get old,
remind me of this:
one night we kissed,
and i really meant it

whatever happens,
if we're still still speaking,
pick up the phone,
play me this song

- radiohead

I promise if you get old...if you become forgetful...if you are no longer cool...if you talk shit...I will not smash your brains out but I will play this song:

~~~ I tried to make it Sunday but I got so damned depressed, that I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed. I ain't ready for the altar but I do agree there's times when a woman sure can be a friend of mine ~~~ America, "Sister Golden Hair"

Overheard in McDonald's

I took an early Saturday trip to McDonald's. After I got my iced non-fat mocha and began walking toward the door, I heard an older black lady tell a younger white woman "I said, either you are married or you are romantically involved. I could see you loved him in your smile". I turned to look at the couple and I saw it too.

"I'm lovin' it."

Saying Good-bye To Yesterday

Who has said good-bye to yesterday and why is it so hard to do so? Some say there is no good in good-bye, I beg to differ. Sometimes saying good-bye is exactly what we need to do.

To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. ~George Lansdowne

Good-byes breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say good-bye to; this hurts, you feel, this must not happen again. ~Elizabeth Bowen

If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me? ~Lynrd Skynrd, "Free Bird"


Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened, right? Gimme a fucking break.

Sunday Stealing (on a Monday morning): The A to Z Meme

A
• Are you available? Define available.
• What is your age? A lady never tells her age but if I had to throw a number
around-34 would do.
• What annoys you? People who chew with their mouth open.


B
• Do you know anyone named Billy? Yup.
• When is your birthday? Christmas Day.
• Who is your best friend? I have 4...Hope, Lisa, Lynn, Hoppe.


C
• What's your favorite candy? Gimme chocolate.
• Crush? Ahh yes...two of them --- Nikki & Ryan.
• When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.


D
• Do you daydream?: Day dream, night dream. I do it all.
• What's your favorite kind of dog? Basset hound - shhh, don't tell the others.
• What day of the week is it? Monday - even though I am Sunday Stealing.

E
• How do you like your eggs? Over medium - covered in grits.
• Have you ever been in the emergency room? 3 times - Emergency appendectomy, some
weird reaction to shrimp & Rolling Rock, slashed a finger-needed stitches -- all
pure talent.
• Ever pet an elephant? Yes.


F
• Do you use fly swatters? No.
• Have you ever used a foghorn? Foghorn Leghorn?
• Is there a fan in your room? Human type or cooling type? If so, I have both. If not, then I just have one or the other.

G
• Do you chew gum? Yes. Grape Hubba Bubba is the stuff.
• Do you like gummy candies? Gummy bears...only.
• Do you like gory movies? Me likey the blood & guts.


H
• How are you? Physically - my neck is sore & my face is really tender near the jaw
area, left side, like something bit me but not a bug bite. Weird. Emotionally -
spent. Mentally - exhausted.
• What's your height? 5'5 1/2"
• What color is your hair? Dark brown. Classic brunette shall we say?

I
• What's your favorite ice cream? Ben & Jerry's - Karmal Sutra
• Have you ever ice skated? Nope.
• Ever been in an igloo? Ok, no.


J
• What's your favorite Jelly Bean? Grape.
• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Yes. What is green and sings? Elvis Parsley! (it's so corny but every time I get a chuckle)
• Do you wear jewelry? Earrings, two rings, necklace - every day.

K
• Who do you want to kill? The "W"...is that wrong? It has to be, but WTF ever. (and I am not talking about the former prez)
• Have you ever flown a kite? Yes.
• Do you think kangaroos are cute? Totally.


L
• Are you laidback? I use to be. There was a time...
• Lions or Tigers? Tigers.
• Do you like black licorice? No.


M
• Favorite movie as a kid? The Wizard of Oz.
• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? Gonna go out on a limb - and say no.
• Favorite store at the mall? Kirkland's


N
• Do you have a nickname? Several - Kim Buck, Kimmie Pie, Betty, Monkey.
• Whats your favorite number? 20.
• Do you prefer night or day? Night.


O
• What's your one wish? Correct change always - if it costs $1048.63. Hand goes into
pocket - out comes correct change.
• Are you an only child? Yes. Parents stopped at perfection.
• Do you like the color orange? Never thought about it - but now that I am asked -
no.


P
• What are you most paranoid about? My teeth falling out.
• Piercings? Ears. Two times.
• Do you know anyone named Penelope? No.

Q
• Are you quick to judge people? I thought no but very recently, someone told me I was a "judger".
• Do you like Quaker Oats? Nope.
• Know anyone that makes quilts? Yes. Former roommate - quilting queen.
• Do you think you're always right? In my world - yes.
• Do you watch reality TV? Love it.
• Reason to cry? I can cry on command but usually there is a "D" reason.

S
• Do you prefer sun or rain? Sun.
• Do you like snow? Yes!
• What's your favorite season? Winter.

T
• What time is it? 9:20 am
• What time did you wake up? 4:41 am

U
• Can you ride a unicycle? Never tried.
• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? A couple of fellas I work with.
• How many uncles do you have? 4? That doesn't quite sound right...but I think it's
a good solid number.


V
• What’s the worst vegetable? Turnips.
• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? No. I am child free.
• Ever considered being vegan? Yes. I put it on my New Year's resolution list -
EVERY YEAR and I fail every year.


W
• What's your worst habit? I tend to ask too many questions & I'm pretty naive.
• Do you like water rides? Yes.
• Ever been inside a windmill? Eh, no.


X
• Have you ever had an x-ray? Yes.
• Ever used a Xerox machine? Uh, duh.


Y
• Do you like the color yellow? Um...I suppose.
• What year were you born in? 1974. Shit, I just gave away my age.
• Do you yell when you're angry? No, I cry. Refer to "Q" questions.

Z
• Do you believe in the zodiac? Eh, sometimes. Example -- I was reading someone's
zodiac to them & it contained something like - you will have to choose between K
& C. Just so happened I was the K and the ex-girlfriend was the C.
• What's your zodiac sign? Capricorn.
• When was the last time you went to the zoo? I have four dogs -- technically, I
live in one.

Voila! Your Turn

Hopeless Romantic

In our quest called life, each of us searches for something different or maybe we are all looking for the same thing. I suppose its the lucky few who find what they truly seek (over achievers). I've always said you can't have too much money and you can't be too skinny. If you have money you can buy skinny. If you are skinny, people want to give you money, well probably not, but a girl can dream. Both were my motto for years and now older and really none the wiser, I can't help to still believe a little of each are true. So, my search today focuses more on true love than anything. "And wuv, twu wuv will fowow you foweva. That dweam wifin a dweam. So tweasure your wuv."

My new favorite movie is P.S. I Love You. I imagine this will become one of those movies likened to Steel Magnolias and Pretty Woman(instant classics) - it will air on numerous TV channels (TNT, TBS, FX, A&E) on Saturday and Sunday. Repetitively, of course. The movie is uber gushing of hopeless romantic antics. I sob violently every time I watch it. Near the end of the movie a letter is read, narrated by the author of said letter in a darling Irish accent. The letter contains these sentiments ---

"....its to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me... And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life,... But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you."

*sigh*

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control."

*sigh*

Yes, I live in my own little world where the thought of a perfect love lingers. Perfect, precise and all mine. So I say this --- "Where the fuck are you?".

Where?

Do you ever observe a couple, of the man/woman coupling type, and feel a little jealous? Jealous because of the way he looks at her, holds the door for her, guides her by the small of her back, brushes the hair from her face, kisses her hands? I do and I feel it often. Then I think, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. He probably keeps her tied up in a closet in dirty sweat pants. However, these couples look damn good in the public eye.

But my point is - why must the visual of another spark some deep desire for something that I do not have? Where is my hand kisser? My back guider? The love of all loves? The one who adores me, dotes over me, loves me with every fiber of their being? The one who would die without me?

I've been dating since I was 15! I'm exhausted! Where is he?
---Charlotte York

Wednesday What?

I took the cue from That Girl from here

You wouldn't be caught dead where?: Rummaging through a discount bin at a yardsale or in white shoes after labor day.

Do you have any hidden talents?: Yes. I am a mind reader.

Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at: Cleaning and napping.

Name two things you consider yourself to be very bad at: Making the first move and letting go.

Have you ever won a trophy?: Yes. Sports and academics.

Name one thing not many people know about you: That is why it is the ONE thing. Can't put it all on out on the table.

Name your earliest memory: Walking in my great-grandparents front yard in a green & orange plaid coat.

What was your favorite musical group in jr. high?: Bon Jovi!

What was something the worst roommate you ever had did?: Borrowed a Liz Claiborne bag and matching wallet from me and never gave it back.

When you were a kid what did you want to be when you grew up?: Loretta Lynn (I know, I know)

What was your worst dating experience?: Any date that ended in a sleepover...

If you were about to die what would your last meal be?: No meal...just a strawberry pie my mom made.

Who is the most important person in you life?: I have more than one - but are important to me in very different ways. My mom & grandparents for one. And of course - that someone special for two (you know who you are).

If your house was on fire what 3 things would you grab on your way out?: My dogs, my hope chest and any other thing I could squeeze throught the front door before the flames got to me.t

When Rock n Roll Eyes Are Smiling

As I was ruling the world at my place of employment - I received a phone call from a customer letting me know he would be stopping in to make a quick purchase. I completed the necessary paperwork and waited for his arrival. My work station is near the front lobby so I can always hear the door open before I see who is coming in. As I looked up from my desk, my eyes widended, my mouth fell open & I fell out of my chair. My first thought was "he found me!" My second thought "where is my lipstick?" As I poked my head up over my desk what I saw was this - a man with black spikey rock n roll hair, that odd little flavor savor patch below his bottom lip, a black button-down shirt (resembles a mechanic's shirt), jeans, large wallet with the chain attached to his belt loop, some arm tats, sunglasses and black boots. Of course of all days for the drop in, I am found sick with some type of flu/cold bug so I wasn't looking my groupie best. The customer's name just happened to be Frank and what is Nikki Sixx's birth name? FRANK Ferrano. Coincidence?

While not the 6'3" man of my rock n roll dreams - he coulda done in a pinch. Oh how the rock god's have shone their favor down upon me.

Babies, Babies, Babies

At dinner Saturday, I was observing two small children. Both were boys with dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, dimples and well behaved. They were sitting like little men among the family enjoying their meal.

All of sudden I heard --- TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK --- I looked across the table and a friend of mine was grinning from ear to ear. Immediately in my defense I said, "whatever, I don't even like kids". Then he said "I can just see it now, you and your little girl both with your designer handbags"....

Why me? why me?

**Super Sigh**

As I made my bi-weekly pilgrimage to Wal-Mart early this morning, I found myself in the oddest moment ever. I was at the check out counter, the cashier greeted me good morning then asked me "are you a mom"? I said "no". She looked at me, turned her head slightly like a dog does when you speak to it. With her ears perked forward, she then said "really, you're not a mom"? I said "no, I'm not, well yes I am, actually I am the mother of four dogs". The mother of the year then said "I guess that counts. Happy Mother's Day". I felt mortified for not being a bearer of my own offspring. Stupid Wal-mart workers.

Oh, How I Love Thee

To be loved, one has to love their self first? What does that mean? Hold your own hand? Kiss your reflection in the mirror? Probably not. Does it mean having long and lingering dinners alone? Sending yourself roses for no reason at all? Probably not. Buying yourself ridiculousy exquisite handbags? Well, maybe. Nah, it's much more complex than that. It probably means being comfortable and happy with who you are - outwardly and inwardly - embracing all of those little weird acts of self indulgence that only you know about. Feeding our emotional, mental and spiritual needs daily.

Do you know anyone who loves their self fully and wholeheartedly? I don't, but, I still don't understand why you have to love yourself before anyone else can. I've been loved before and during those times of "befores" I am 100% sure I was not in love with or loving myself. Is loving our self only self involved or does it takes the goodness and loving acts of others to make the circle complete? Does it go without saying that loving our self is the most important relationship in our life? Like all relationships, it takes time, patience and an extra thick wallet and it will undoubtedly be worth every bit of effort in the end.

How do you love yourself?