Sunday, December 7, 2008

This Post Will Self Destruct....

How much faith do we put in the finding of our inner peace? Or do we find inner peace putting all our cards on the table for faith?

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we could just put on a little lipstick on the inside just as we do outside to show the world we are completely pulled together? The thing about our inner conflicts is that it is only our self that can see and feel them. No one will ever know of the struggle until we confess it. I guess the journey of finding inner peace would begin with learning how to forgive. The process of forgiving to me hinders on one thing: how do you forgive when you can’t forget? Call me an elephant, a grudge holder or any other label that has to do with not forgetting. When someone has wronged me I will remember and relive the situation in question over and over. Aren’t we supposed to harness the good and let go of the bad? Don’t get me wrong, not all of my innards are a ticker tape of the bad stuff. Every now and then a reflection of good and right will show up.

The self help section of any book store will offer one thousand titles per one conflict to gain your inner peace. One book suggested writing a letter telling of the hurt and hate you might have and sending it to a random address. Um, that little exercise had no positive response for any closure I was seeking. Purging (out with the old, in with the new) hasn’t necessarily worked for me either. So what will it take? Sitting in the foothills of the Himalayans, praying to a little fat man? Watching Benny Hinn heal everyone in the audience with far greater physical afflictions but me who chose to stay seated for fear of being embarrassed?

Whatever it may take, I will gladly accept the mission.

 
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