How Do You Say Opossum?

Last night my dogs began to do the distress call (that only mother would know) to warn of enemies in their territory. The territory was the backyard and the enemy at paw was a opossum. I grabbed a flash light, digital camera and began to patrol the area like Rambo. When I found the opossum , it was sitting on top of the chain link fence and not dangling from a tree much to my sadness. It was the ususal opossum type - grey spikey fur, beadie eyes, pink paws and a very handsome tail. As I scooted closer, and I say scooted because I was terrified at any moment this thing would yell "Banzai" and lurch toward me and crawl directly up my leg. But again, to my dismay, it just sat there. As I brought the camera up toward my eye some music began. The chosen song was I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. The opossum began to speak in a French accent - do you like me like theese or like theese? How zabout theese? It contorted its body and gave its toothy grin while mentioning something about copyright laws. In shock, I dropped my camera and the music stopped. I picked up the camera and the music began again. This opossum was "cat walking" on the top of the fence rail and voguing if you will, for my camera! I kept clicking and the opossum kept posing. The dogs jowls had dropped to the ground and their eyes were the size of pancakes. They, too could not believe what they were seeing or hearing for that matter. Liddy began to stutter as she pointed toward the runway critter, "Puh, puh, puh, opossums are supposed to play dead not dance to Right Said Fred!", she said. Jack mentioned the bump he took on his head the week before must have knocked something lose. Lori said she'd bunked with one in juvie hall but it never said it was too sexy for a shirt and Gracie just wrapped her ears around her face. As the camera's battery began to dwindle the music dwindled along with it. Before we retreated back inside the opossum requested all photos be airbrushed where needed and would be availabe for work on an as needed basis.