20th Day, 7th Blog

I am officially 15 days late for my "monthly friend". I have not taken a pregnancy test, I have not been to the doctor. While I should be a little worried or maybe even afraid that I may be pregnant I am not. My boyfriend of 4 years doesn't seem to be concerned either. I told him yesterday that I was 14 days late - and he gave the little arm pump - you know the one I am talking about - back in the day of Aresnio Hall. I am a childless wonder in this world. I keep telling myself that I have my "start" date wrong and that I am actually on mark. I am not afraid to be with child but I am not prepared. We are not married for one thing. We have no plans to be married for two. My mother knows of my own desire to be a mother while not being married. Of course, she does not approve. She says the child will be illegitimate and have no name. Maybe she has a point. Here's my point - what if I got married before the child was born and filed for a divorce the day after? What good was really done? Was the world really saved or made a better place because I was married when he or she came into the world? I stand by my choice of not wanting to be married if I were pregnant. I'll guess we'll have to wait and see who is right - my mother or me.