Let's Talk Sh*t

The subject of today's post is human excrement or in short: shit.  There are  many variations of the word:


Poop
Dung
Crap
Turd
Dookie
Doo-doo
Poo-poo
Poo


All of the above can be referenced to how you are feeling, what something tastes like, what something smells like and the character of someone. 


There are many phrases as well relating to the act of defecating:


Taking a shit
Taking a dump
Laying a loaf
Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl
Pinching one off
Dropping a deuce
Laying a log
Seeing a man about a horse
Taking care of business
Turtle head
Dropping a Cleveland steamer


Why am I talking shit today you might ask?  If you're "regular" like me, pooping is part of your daily business.  Yes, I know, a lady shouldn't talk about such things but its a fact of life, right?  If it isn't a fact of your life you might want to see your doctor (constipation or irregularity is the source of many conflicts like divorce, world war).  


I have known people that actually take off their clothes to poop.  Are you one of those?  Are you a short pooper or a long pooper?  Do you anticipate those little chill bumps you get while doing your business?  Do you read?  Are you an in & outer?  Do you observe your waste before flushing?


There are things about your poop that can give insight to your health:  color (if your poop is black, not good), texture, buoyancy (if it floats, good fiber intake going on), scent (yes, sometimes poop doesn't smell which I guess gives way to reality that some people's shit really doesn't stink).


By all means, poop is gross (more gross when you use any of the lingo above) & the act of pooping probably gives people nightmares but I have to say...I look forward to doing business daily.