Pre-Op & Post-Op BS

I had to be at the breast center Tuesday morning at 9:30. I arrived on time in full make-up, full hair and fully clothed. At the breast center I was to have an ultrasound, a needle localization and a mammogram. The ultrasound was to locate the "marker" that was inserted into the biopsied area when I had the fine needle aspiration of a cyst. The ultrasound could not locate the marker thus forcing me to the humility of a sterotactic table. This table has a hole in the center of if it which, you guessed it, is where your breast "hangs down" through it. You lie face down on the table while people are "working" on your breast. Obviously you can't see what is going on because you are 5 feet in the air and all of the over paid people are underneath the table working with your breast like its a car on a garage rack. X-rays are taken of your breast to locate the marker so the needle localization can be administered. Awesome.

After a $250 co-pay, inquiring of a living will, 12 x-rays, one ultrasound, one mammogram, a wire insertion to my breast, 6 people touching and squeezing my unhappy boobie, transportation in a wheelchair to a hospital van, then transportation from the car through the hospital lobby atrium into pre-op, peeing in a cup, undressing right down to what God gave me, IV insertion with an IV cocktail, crying 3 times because of the humiliation and given an awful patient surgery hat for me to wear I was taken to the operating room.

Two deep breathes of something wonderful and then I woke up to find my breast still in tact. A sweet nurse offered me something for pain. Three pumps of morphine later, I was taken into a another post-op recovery area. I was offered Sprite and crackers. After minimal consumption I became very nauseated. Latex gloves filled with ice were put under my neck & alcohol swabs were placed on my face. I began to feel better until I sat up and it all came back.

Moving on...my mom helped me get dressed and I was trying not to projectile vomit. I finally said I was ready to go and I made it to the car. On the way home I threw up four times in a barf bag in front of someone - I am a loner when it comes to puking but I could not help it. Everytime I heaved I apologized for doing so (I am a violent puker). Finally made it home around 7:00 in the evening. I took a pain pill with a nausea pill and I slept until 8 am the next morning. So....two days later I am alive! I go for the final test results Monday morning.

Thank you everyone who wished me well. And for your viewing pleasure: