I Believe...

That every drop of Coca-Cola is laced with heroine because it so damn good and so damn addicting.

That we are puppets on a string.

That I have a higher calling than being a beer bitch.

That every time my GYN touches my boobs she wished she were lesbian.

That you can get no fresher Sunbeam bread than you do at Dreamland BBQ.

That grilled food can ignite cancer cells.

How you handle bad days is how you handle the majority of your life.

That the person who designed hospital gowns was a perv.

Butterfly kisses are freakish.

There was a bandwagon for Alabama - Auburn football last year.

That skorts are stupid.