Thursday, March 11, 2010

Pandora's Box

Around the 7th grade I had an English teacher who was also a Baptist pastor, my best friend's dad, his name was Bro. Ward. Our small private school had never seen anything like him. He used super long important words and was Cuban. He even wore Havana shirts.

The reason for thinking of him this morning started like this:

I was in the shower and thinking of swearing, "I swear I didn't spend $2169.32 for a new handbag" which made me think of another teacher, Ms. Emmons who if you were to swear in her class she would make you write lines - I will not swear in the classroom.

Just so happened Bro. Ward was also fond of writing lines for any type of injustice served in his classroom. On his desk he had a green box appropriately named Pandora's Box. The box contained pieces of paper numbered 0-1000 in an incremental fashion. If you were caught chewing gum by Bro. Ward you would be instructed to pull a number from the box and that was the amount of lines you would have to write. Not typical sentences either such as I will not chew gum but something more like I was found chewing gum in a classroom setting. Not only is chewing gum against the rules but it also advocates tooth decay and causes my mouth to contort in an ill fitting manner. Because I want to be a superior student and abide with school rules I will no longer masticate gum in the classroom.

All I can say is it took one time for me and I never chewed anything in front of Bro. Ward again.

12 comments:

BlazngScarlet said...

HA HA HA!
I use that exact same punishment on my boys.
And yes, I too write long, involved and complicated sentences for them to complete.

It's worked wonders!

Fnord said...

I'm guessing "Bro. Ward" was short for Brother Ward? Otherwise Bro is a pretty awesome name. And he's Cuban and wears Havana type shirts?! This man sounds like my hero!

PS: I was picturing Ricky Ricardo everytime you said his name.

Jo said...

Bro. Ward was very, very smart. And wise. :-)

The Savage said...

I just never got caught chewing gum in class....

KrippledWarrior said...

You should have swallowed the gum and asked for proof! Nah, that's like being a yankee!
That was back in the day when kids went to school to learn. Not be indoctrinated, to conform.

UBERMOUTH said...

Hahahaha. I was always given detentions for treatin g the classroom like asocial function[just being friendly] and was giving detentions.
I went once- they bored me and I could not smoke- so I never went again. For this punishment I got MORE detentions which I never turnd up for either.

Dutch donut girl said...

Cool teacher. Did you have a crush on him?

Southern Sage said...

Looks like Bro Ward got his point across!

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

1,000 is a very large number to have to write anything repeatedly. That sounds very effective. Edna Krabappel could have used this.

Just telling it like it is said...

OMG that cracked me up!! What a great idea..bro must have been vry smart..how many lines...

and you can tell him...gum actually helps prevent gum disease but does start the digestion...with if you have gass is not good...I just had to throw that one in...Just cause me love you

Kimberly said...

Scarlet - I learned the first time. I think it is because of him that I have arthritis (I don't but if I get it I am gonna blame him).

Fnord - his first name was Rudolph. Very Ricky Ricardo. He called me loco alot.

Jo - he was.

Savage - you and your kilt - so sneaky.

Warrior - I conformed & conformed quickly.

Uberbitch - what can you say? No one likes to taunt the devil.

Dutch - no crush...I said he was also a pastor, right?

Sage - the point of my pencil!

Something - 1000 lines. Actually they were small paragraphs. Either way, you were crippled after an all night writing session.

Just Tellin - I am sure he knew that but he was just getting his point across & thank you for thinking that I am so young that my 7th grade teacher would still be here on this earth!

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