Relationships 103

How many times have you heard or have been told "you need to take time for yourself", "you need time to grieve" or "you should wait a little while before you get into another relationship".

Let me address these - First, taking time for oneself. This is a very broad group of words put together in one seemingly small sentence. What the "giver" is suggesting is that you should not get into another relationship. One (myself) assumes the "giver" is lonely and doesn't have a relationship to speak of or the "giver" is jealous of the life you are about to lead (freedom). Taking time for oneself can be whatever the "receiver" wants it to be - learning a new hobby, slumber parties, learn Swahili, but lets be honest class how does one getting out of relationship move on and take time for their self - meeting new people & doing new things which could include dinner out at an expensive Asian fusion restaurant with an Asian fusion person. New things could also include some bedroom Olympics with Asian fusion flare of course (think geisha & foot binding). When I take time for oneself (me) it almost always involves someone else. Just saying.

Secondly, waiting a bit before getting into another relationship. What the "giver" is saying here is that you should take some time for yourself (see above).

Thirdly, taking time to grieve. No, not for a mortal death but relationship death. What the "giver" is saying here is you should wait a bit before getting into another relationship & that you should take some time for yourself (see above).

When someone is dishing out this advice do you really think they have your their best interest at heart? Doubtful. I've never told someone "take time for yourself" because I believe it to be a bullshit metaphor or analogy that involves deeply rooted jealousy from the "giver". I am not saying that I practice what I preach but if you want to bed hop, do it. Sew those whorish oats & sew them well. If you want to hide like a hermit and mimic Howard Hughes, do it. Climb Kilimanjaro? Just remember to layer & send me a postcard.

When men become divorced or are dumped where do they head? For the hottest bed they can find. Nothing wrong with that. Work out all of that pent up anger & irritability. Who does it hurt really? Men, women were designed to couple with one another & pro-create. Some can't pro-create so they just rehearse, a lot.

Basically the message the giver is delivering is don't get involved again - spend time with me - I don't have a man/woman friend neither should you.

Funny the stuff they won't tell ya...