Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Three Types

There are three types of people who really just irritate me right into the depths of homocidal tendencies.

The first one is the bragger. Generally what they brag about is nothing that brings a twinkle to my eye. The item that is bragged out isn't made out of 24k gold or even ghetto gold. Bragging examples include: women who want them and how big those women's boobs are, how good of a cook they are, how fancy a vehicle is they bought or pictures of their beautiful, smart, above average children. I know, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Sorry people, I don't do braggers.

The second is the joker. The joker who says something which might cause a snicker and due to the snickering, the joker continues to tell the same thing over and over, even goes out of the way to bring others to the conversation to only tell them the same thing, you guessed it, over and over. Sorry people, jokes about Little Johnny, Polloks, Jews and how you know your in Alabama are not funny. There was a time when they were but the time has passed. Let's move on.

The third is the person who has to tell the world how much weight they've lost. If you have to tell someone how much weight you lost to the exact pound/ounce, how you only eat 3 meals a day but watch your carb intake & how good you think you look chances are you basically still look the same to them or worse yet they just don't care or notice because you were so uninteresting or unattractive to begin with. Sorry people, weight loss that you have to tell me about or bring to my attention does not get applause or compliments from me.

Wow, could I be a bigger bitch? Umm, probably. You guys are here to read about my frustrations and from time to time my pleasures, in short that makes you the "middle man" - thanks for all you do.

15 comments:

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

You forgot people that fish for compliments... but your list is pretty sound. I agree.

-j

Just telling it like it is said...

OMGosh ...do you hate me for talking about my boobs?

NurseExec said...

I've got a bragger, joker boss. Drives me batty. Wish someone would take him off my hands....

UBERMOUTH said...

OMG I am ALL of them!!!!!

I hate people who have to knock me down cuz they're jealous. Lotsa jealous bitches around, have you noticed? :)
Tip- You should probbaly give my newst post a miss. hahaha

Bina said...

I hate braggers, too. Especially when it comes to what they have or things about their kids. When women act like their kids are the only ones on the planet to EVER do something, I want to slap them.

You failed to mention the "one-upper's". You know, if I have something wrong with my foot, someone else's foot is much worse. If I have a cold, that person has pnuemonia. If my back hurts, that person will probably have to have surgery, and on and on it goes.

UBERMOUTH said...

I hate skinny bitches who eat more than the fattest person in the world and never gain a pound but whine,' I am sooooooo fucking fat!'

And then when their blobby friend[not me] says, What are you worried about-lookit me!', skinny bitch says' Oh, you're not that fat!'

WTF!

Ranger Tom said...

Well, I lost 6000 lbs while driving my over-achieving and beautiful kids to daycare in my Mercedes while all the soccer moms drooled over my well-toned, muscular abs and laughed at all my little Johnny jokes about Alabama...

Kimberly said...

Mormon Bach - the fisher is the weight loss hint dropper. When you fish with me you get nothing.

Just Tellin' - what? You have boobs? Crazy.

Nurse - I know someone and no one would ever know.

Uberbitch - this post was about you.

Bina Bina - where you been? I work with a one upper. If you've been dead they've been deader.

Uberbitch - I hate skinny bitches, skinny whores, stupid Skinny Cow ice cream snacks...skinny is stupid.

Ranger T - you can suck it - go big or go home.

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