Work Rant!

On a daily basis I probably take 30-50 phone calls. We do things the "old school" way - we actually write down messages & deliver them to the appropriate party. While answering the phone, taking and delivering messages is part of my job & I should be glad to have one I still so get so rattled and unnerved when people leave messages that begin or end like this:

"Good Morning Happy Thrills Condom Farm"

"I am looking for Hans Trojan"

"Who is calling"

"Gooey Panties with the Today Sponge"

"Was he expecting your call"

"No"

"One moment please"

"I'm sorry Mr. Trojan is not available. May I take your #"

"Yes, I am leaving for Pigsknuckle, Arkansas for the National Spermicidal Conference, so I will have to leave my WORK cell phone # 251-555-5555. I will be on the road from 9-5 if he can't reach me via my WORK cell, he can call my PERSONAL cell and that # is 251-444-4444. If he can't reach me on either of those, here is my work VM, he can try me there. I check those messages daily OR you can just give him a message for me"

Reason for rant: Who gives a shit whether it is your cell phone #, home # or your office # - I/We/The entire world doesn't need the details of what number you are giving and your office is in the same city as mine mine, I don't need you to rattle off the fucking area code. Please don't take away unecessary seconds of my life that I will never get back. If he wasn't expecting your call or doesn't recongize your name chances are you'll never get a return call so we do not need the 411 of who, what, when or why.

Thanks for calling.