Sunday, June 7, 2009

Random Thoughts 4

Why do people get married? Moral obligation? Fulfillment? Security? Love? A big party? I use to think that little gold band had magical powers and I still do. Sometimes I wish I had a little (diamond encrusted) gold band on my finger.

Why are older women who like younger men called cougars? Why not a cheetah (because they are fast)? Or a raccoon (they wash their hands before they eat)? A mole (because they are blind)?

Why do dirty old men have to be just that? I was having dinner last Sunday at a restaurant that features interim line dancing. At the cue of certain songs, the staff kicks little "jigs" all over the restaurant. One particular table in the line of firing seated two older couples - probably teetering on the age of 60 for all involved. A dirty old man in the group had a front row view of said "jiggers". As the other guests at the table pretended not to notice the jiggly body movements of young girls in tight britches, the DOM stopped mid-bite to watch. With his perfectly coiffed preacher's helmet and thick figaro style gold necklace he licked his chops, curled his lip and arched his eyebrow at the booty beside him. Assuming the lady seated by him was his grand-baby grand-mama, she was completely oblivious to the blatant eye fucking going on as she was eating her steak. I won't lie, I often window shop but I would not dare do it with my beloved sitting right beside me and I surely wouldn't set my sights on someone young enough to be my grandson even if he had the dimples of Antonio Sabato Jr., the arms of a god...or was the smitten image of Nikki Sixx. (Chanting - eyes straight ahead, hands to yourself, eyes straight ahead, hands to yourself) Why, I'm a lady (a lady who uses the word fuck alot).

5 comments:

- Eadyn's Calling said...

LOL! Dirty Old Men are so funny to watch sometimes. :)

I'm still wondering why I got married...

Frank said...

Hmmm, I suppose the fact that I'm a dirty young man means I'll turn into a dirty old man soon...

oh well...

The Ambiguous Blob said...

Respect your elders! Now, shake your booty for gramma. Go ahead. Buahahahahaaa.

- Eadyn's Calling said...

There's an award waiting for you on my blog. :)

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