Sunday, March 22, 2009

Do I Have Plenty?

En route to a social function today I passed the Harley Davidson store. As soon as it was in site I thought of Uncle Steve, a biker of sorts. He is not necessarily today my uncle, as he and my mother's sister divorced many years back, but in my mind he will always be Uncle Steve. The thought of him threw me into thoughts of his mother, Ms. Miller, who passed away a couple of years ago in a car accident. As I thought of her passing I pondered Uncle Steve's ties to Alabama and how he doesn't really have any anymore. If I lived in Maine and my mother passed away (whom still lives in the deep south) I would never pass this way again. Once more I thought of Ms. Miller. She had three children, 7 grand kids and possibly as many great grand kids. The reason for the wonderment was did she live/have a full life because of her family? As I thought about this longer than I should, I wondered if my life was going to be lackluster in the end because I didn't spread my proverbial seed. My stand on having children teeters between having none and having one, maybe two (the old fashioned way).

While at my social soiree, a couple had brought their children. One of the kids was a 13 month old girl. Too cute for words really. I held this little human, shared crackers (that she thought I also needed to eat, so we both had crackers all over our face), fed her a jar of pears, oooh'd and aahhh'd as she cooed while being tickled and swung onto my hip like a spider monkey. In doing all of this I thought of the hyporcrite I really am. If someone asks me why I don't have kids, I simply say "I don't like them" or "ack, I mow my own grass", but if you had seen me in motion with munchin in question, you would have thought that little girl was mine. Is that wrong?

I wonder if I never have children, will I have plenty in my life?

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