In Wal-Mart this evening I overheard a woman say this after reading the headline "Pregancy Joy for Angelina Jolie" on the front of a gossip magazine --- "She's pregnant again"? "She needs to get a TV". I tried to hold a straight face but I failed.
Someone recently asked me what made me happy, as I scribbled the list in my mind, for a moment I realized I was a simple person and decided to add my list here...
1. Champagne
2. Snow
3. Puppies' breath
4. Bubbles
5. Smell of fresh cut grass
6. Handwritten lettters
7. Extremely random phone calls from friends or family
8. Kisses on my forehead
9. Fireplaces
10. A long dinner
11. Cool breezes
12. The entire Christmas season
Early at the polls this morning, I quickly became #50 in line. Waiting for nearly one hour for the polls to open, I was very glad to be #50 and not #1491. As I made my way into the gymnasium to show my ID and get my ballot and secrecy folder, I felt I was completing a very important civic duty. As I watched the crowd, I noticed a very elderly man with his elderly escort cast their ballots. The gentleman was in very poor condition, barely able to walk without help of his escort and walker. I felt so patriotic at that moment that I almost began to cry. This was the first election that I have ever taken part it in and right now at this moment, I feel very good about my choice. As I cast my ballot I realized that today, November 4, 2008, I became a part of history.
I was minding my own business when the word again popped into my mind. I sounded it out just as you learn to in first grade, "uh-gain". I have never thought of the use of this word as a positive but always used it negatively. Examples:
The toliet is clogged, again.
The dog ate her bed, again.
My car needs gas, again.
You can see where I am going with this. As I thought about the word and kept repeating it, I turned it around, a-gain. For example:
I received a Christmas bonus, it was a-gain.
I made a new friend, A true GAIN.
I saw my dad today for the first time in a year, is a-gain
See how just saying the word differently brings to light an entirely different situation?
After two weeks of pondering I've thought of three things that come in 3's that aren't always tragic:
1. Neapolitan Ice Cream
2. 3 Outs in Baseball
3. 3 Strikes in Baseball
Maybe you've heard things come in 3's. For example - accidents, deaths or just bad news. In the past month, 3 friends or acquaintances have told me they were getting a divorce. All choices in the matter were made by the ladies. Is there something in the water? The air? I'm afraid to drink or breath but clearly I need to do a little of both to survive. I tried to think of good things that come in 3's. Nothing came to mind immediately so I pondered for a few moments. A few moments later I was still pondering. I thought of packs of candy, nope. A box of Swiffers, nope. Then it hit me, we have 3 local news affiliates and sets of triplets and my hitting ended there. Maybe because I was trying so hard to focus on what goodness comes in 3's is why nothing came to my mind quickly. When I find the good 3 - I'll let you know.
I was looking through a catalog of Christmas cards. Not one card in this catalog offered the greeting "Merry Christmas", "Happy Christmas", "Kiss My Christmas" or anything of the like. I could not find one picture of Santa and no mention of Christ or the Nativity. Are people so sensitive to the word Christmas or pictures of a man in a red suit? Santa has been flying over roof tops, squeezing down chimmney's for hundreds of years and Jesus has been around longer than that. I am not sensitive to people who eat gelfite fish or wear crocheted little beanies which means I don't ask for these items to be removed or changed while in my presence. Nor am I sensitive to religions that completely omit the word Christmas or any other holiday from their vocabulary. It is their choice. If I am not offended by others choices and aren't screaming for them to wear brown derby's, eat tuna from a can or write Christmas is Love a million times on a chalkboard then don't take away my option of a Christmas card boasting Santa giving Jesus a hi-5. You can just bet at a point in the offended's life - Santa did stop in to pay them a visit and lumps of coal were left.
M - Moaning the blues (not making a joyful noise)
O - Overworked (and underpaid)
N - Nausea (wait - blehh)
D - Dreary (mood altering and not mushroom induced)
A - Abhor (loathe, hate, not looked foward to)
Y - Yowl (crying and still moaning the blues)
What seems like seconds ago, a friend of mine told me that "they" were getting a divorce. While not shocked, my heart immediately ached. My lungs closed in tightly around my heart as to hug it and my stomach reached upward and placed a large band aid on it. I guess forever really isn't forever anymore, its just a short period of time. Divorce for most these days is just as easy as changing jobs and I can certainly vouch for that. In a former career, I was completely content in my held position but my co-worker and colleague clearly had higher aspirations for themselves moving up the corporate ladder, so I found myself quickly demoted. Years ago, a former roommate of mine was experiencing turbulent divorce waters as I was moving into her home. At that time in my very inexperienced life, I had no idea of how she felt or what she was dealing with but after walking a mile in her so called shoes, I found myself a couple of years later eating my own words and thoughts about what she had endured. No doubt, divorce is the worst roller coaster ride I have ever been on, which included but was not limited too bouts of nausea and vomiting. But, this is the land of plenty and we are free to choose and do as we will, all within certain legal boundaries and there is nothing more legal than divorce proceedings. After all, the chief cause of divorce is marriage and 100% of all divorces begin in marriage.
Last night my dogs began to do the distress call (that only mother would know) to warn of enemies in their territory. The territory was the backyard and the enemy at paw was a opossum. I grabbed a flash light, digital camera and began to patrol the area like Rambo. When I found the opossum , it was sitting on top of the chain link fence and not dangling from a tree much to my sadness. It was the ususal opossum type - grey spikey fur, beadie eyes, pink paws and a very handsome tail. As I scooted closer, and I say scooted because I was terrified at any moment this thing would yell "Banzai" and lurch toward me and crawl directly up my leg. But again, to my dismay, it just sat there. As I brought the camera up toward my eye some music began. The chosen song was I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. The opossum began to speak in a French accent - do you like me like theese or like theese? How zabout theese? It contorted its body and gave its toothy grin while mentioning something about copyright laws. In shock, I dropped my camera and the music stopped. I picked up the camera and the music began again. This opossum was "cat walking" on the top of the fence rail and voguing if you will, for my camera! I kept clicking and the opossum kept posing. The dogs jowls had dropped to the ground and their eyes were the size of pancakes. They, too could not believe what they were seeing or hearing for that matter. Liddy began to stutter as she pointed toward the runway critter, "Puh, puh, puh, opossums are supposed to play dead not dance to Right Said Fred!", she said. Jack mentioned the bump he took on his head the week before must have knocked something lose. Lori said she'd bunked with one in juvie hall but it never said it was too sexy for a shirt and Gracie just wrapped her ears around her face. As the camera's battery began to dwindle the music dwindled along with it. Before we retreated back inside the opossum requested all photos be airbrushed where needed and would be availabe for work on an as needed basis.
Once upon a time in a life long ago, someone told me they admired me because I wasn't afraid of anything. Today, older but really none the wiser, I realize I am afraid. I am afraid of many things such as:
1. Spiders
2. Heights
3. Not being loved
4. Wearing white after Labor Day
5. Losing my teeth
6. Not getting into Heaven
7. Bad Chinese
8. Public speaking
9. My mother dying
10. Meeting Nikki Sixx and not knowing I have spinach in my teeth
11. Stone washed jeans returning to the world of fashion
12. Living my life without forgiveness for the people I have hurt or not being able to forgive the people who have hurt me
With age comes many things into our life and one of those things that is coming for me is the ability to be more careful and more insightful before I open my mouth, my heart or my hand.
I am not political in any respect. Actually I have never even voted nor do I know the difference between the democratic and republican platforms. It is a right I exercise. Regardless if I vote or not, tomorrow I will still have to get up and go to work, pay taxes and start my diet all over again. However, I am interested in the world's take on Governor Palin's pregnant, unmarried seventeen year old daughter. Obviously not planned, but Bristol could have not have picked a worse time to become so "delicate". A teenage pregnancy surely isn't anything to roll out the red carpet about but you can just bet a mud laden carpet will surely show itself. Bristol was only doing what most of us are doing, have done or will do in our lives, she just simply got caught. I am not condoning teenage sex or teenage pregnancies but it is something I can't control much like people who abuse the system or hurricane season. Teenagers are curious by nature and today children and adolescents mature quicker than ever. What is a fourteen year old girl supposed to do with a body of a 26 year old woman? Again, I am not saying that sex at an early age should be overlooked or praised. Personally, I don't believe Governor Palin's daughter pregnant or not should have any bearing on the upcoming presidential elections. I would hope all emotions on Governor Palin's part and everyone else involved would be removed and she'll do what is right for America. Children of presidential front runners should be off limits regardless of grades, music choices, super hero preference, pregnant or not, and, I never take up for children.
Not too long ago I wrote a short essay on my choice of not having kids. This morning everything I wrote in that short essay came to fruition. As I was sitting in a restaurant ordering breakfast a couple next to me had not one, two or three kids but four. There should be some type of cap of the amount of children one should have especially if they choose to make them "door steps". The smallest child probably 3 years old, cotton top blonde, wore a white t-shirt with a red stain down the front and shoeless was sitting in between mom and dad. As their breakfast order arrived, the child stood up in his seat and exclaimed "pancake!". Then he proceeded to sit on the table while mom just watched. He also threw a fork to the other side of the restaurant. The he attempted to throw the salt shaker - the older sister took the shaker before he could make the double play. Mom nor dad did not get up and retrieve the fork or make an apology to the couple sitting at the table it landed under. The kid continued to shriek as he ate his pancake. The other smallest child was crying because his pancake didn't look right...
Behind me, sat another small child in a high chair. A two year old boy with a horrific "bowl" haircut, that in my opinion just screams "brat" in a overall "onesy" with his name, Ben, embroidered on the front. This particular child was making sounds like the mermaid, Madison, from the movie Splash as she tried to say her name in her native language, "eeeyyyyeeeeeeeek, eeeyyyeeeeeeeek". Maybe the windows didn't shatter but my eardrums burst. An older child at the table was instructed to take Ben outside because he needed to walk (like he was a puppy or something). So she does and in doing so she takes Ben from chair and he cries and flails around in her arms because he wants to be let down. Then outside, stands right in front of the window where I am sitting, holding Ben so he can waive at his mother. Ben's overalls should have read - Damien.
Need I say more?
In my journey of blogging I still haven't quite decided what a blog is. Say it with me - blog, buh-log. I guess it is a way to express your ideals, passions, life and losses and not necessarily the sound you make after one two many martinis. My grandparents and your grandparents wrote in journals or maybe they didn't write at all. Should I have any grandchildren my story to them may go something like this "In my day we blogged. We blogged and we liked it".
My grandfather eating anything would cause his temples to move up and down. As I typed this I placed my fingers on my temples and pretended to eat. I could feel movement in my temples - maybe temple flexibility isn't a hidden super hero power but when he would eat his temples moved like a bird's wings in flight. I just knew at any moment he would lift away from the table while he was eating cornbread and fresh onions. His hair was silver and cut short on the sides which now reminds me of a bald eagle. Silver wings....
A few little morsels of life that when one hasn't exactly been in your shoes likes to give out:
Build a bridge and get over it - Are you talking about getting over shark infested waters or an erupting volcano? Unless you know exactly the multitude of pain, despair or lack of bravery one is facing, please keep these words to yourself.
Save some for a rainy day - What are you suggesting one save? Money, pot, fancy underwear or the good china? Who would use good china on a rainy day?
There are other fish in the sea - Maybe this was the world record weight species holder. Maybe it was the big one. Just maybe I didn't want to throw it back. Unless you are on a fishing charter with me and I pull in an under weight mackerel - the comment is useless.
I do - You do what? You just DO'd in your pants? You DO plan on taking my heart straight from my chest and twisting it until it is unrecognizable? You DO not plan on ever doing your own laundry? What is it that you will or will not DO?
You look tired - Well, lets see I was up all night knitting mittens and toboggans for the less fortunate and before that I gave every dog in our neighborhood a free bath. Please, telling someone they look tired is just a kind way of saying "please put a bag over your head, you look like death warmed over".
Wow, I feel so much better.
If humans evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?
Is global warming a hoax? (there are many ideas to support this idea) Now, I would like to believe there really is no global warming crisis but what harm is done by wasting a little less? Some people believe that heaven doesn't exist so why should they do good while on earth? Well, it is the same thing as being more enviromentally aware - what does it hurt and certainly who does it hurt?
Are Bigfoot and Loch Ness really possible living creatures?
How can your hair affect your day?
How much will gas cost next summer?
How do you forgive when you can't forget?
Can one person save the world?
A letter to 15 year old me from my 32 year old self.
Dear Me,
The year is 2008 and it has been a busy year. Presidential elections are up in November. Gas prices are at an all time high and the economy is poor. However, none of that is really important to you. I wanted to get in touch with you and give you some of the ole’ “if I knew then what I know advice”. I’ll start with family is important. Enjoy the meals at the dinner table with our parents. Take that trip to Mobile with Papa by yourself. Visit our grandparents when they are sick. Keep in touch with our cousins after you think you’ve outgrown each other. Take our time when it comes to the boys. Heartache is right around the corner and comes sooner than you think. We’ll love and lose and finally we will love and win but its not Nikki Sixx waiting for us in the winner’s circle. All that time we spend alone now, we’ll enjoy later, too. Don’t mess around our junior year in high school. Mom is not going to let us go back to our old school no matter how badly we try to fail in the new one. Try all of the new hair styles and start flossing now. The world will come at us hard sometimes but just get up, dust ourself off and get back in the game. Remember anything worth having is worth fighting and working for. We are going to experience some amazing things and get somethings we surely didn't deserve. You are a good person and know that everything you endure now will make you stronger later. Keep reaching and keep rising.
In our best interest,
Me
Not PC as in politically correct but PC as in personal computer. That's right Peee Ceee. This evening when I arrived home from work my beloved met me at the front door exclaiming he had made an extreme purchase for me - An HP Pavilion Notebook. He had already gotten Internet, a modem, USB cable - basically everything I needed to get this party started. How lucky am I? I am officially among the masses. No longer the sad clown with the smallest shoes. I am the ringmaster!
When I was a young lass my bedroom was covered with posters of anyone who was featured in Hit Parader (yep, that included White Lion and Winger). And I am not ashamed to say I sing along loudly and play air guitar when I can catch one of their videos on Metal Mania. I don't think White Lion & Winger were actually metal groups. Big hair and posers absolutely. As I am being pulled deeper into the world of all things rock - I realize I am one black eye liner pencil from putting Nikki Sixx posters over my bed. How did I get to this point?
