Question of the Day

The way a person eats - is that a make or break deal for you?

I have some tolerance in the situation after the fact. I say after the fact because so many can conceal their true colors in the beginning. Smacking, chewing with mouth open, inhaling food, elbows on the table, slurping, poor use of a napkin, not remaing in your seat until everyone else finishes, starting before everyone else does, reaching over/across someone else to get something for yourself...the list goes on.

Am I the only weirdo that loathes these actions?

Back from The Big Apple

My time spent there was nothing short of amazing.  Here are just a few things I had the extreme pleasure of eating and seeing.

First Cosmopolitan @ Tequilaville via Grand Central Station

Flat Iron Building via the 86th floor observation deck of the Empire State Building

Madison Avenue

Carnegie Deli

Grand Central Station

Grand Central Station

Cheese Blintzes @ Junior's on Broadway

Memorial to the Fallen - Midtown Fire Station

Black & White Cookie from the Majestic Deli

Brownstone via Midtown

Brooklyn Bridge

Freedom Tower

Can I Help You With Something?

Take a picture it will last longer - rude!

Kimberly and the City

It is 5 days or 120 hours or 7,200 minutes or 43,200 seconds before I make touch down in New York City.    I am very excited and this will be my first trip to any place above Maryland on the East Coast.  I deactivated my Facebook account not long ago but I plan to return to the social media outlet so I can upload pictures and share my New Yorkness with those who care to view them.

I'll be touching down at Laguardia Airport and taking a cab right into Times Square, checking into the hotel, getting my things to my room & immediately exiting the building to hit the streets of  'ol New York.  First order of business - enjoy a cosmopolitan or two.  After getting my drink on, I will go directly to Louis Vuitton on 5th Avenue & make a milestone purchase for myself - the iconic Speedy 30 bag with the traditional LV logo (seriously, a dream purchase for me). (Yep, Sex and the City has totally raised the bar on my expectations for this excursion)

Wow, I feel woozie already.

Times Square

Hotel

Liquid Refreshment

Louis Vuitton Flagship Store - 5th Avenue - NYC

There Shes Goes Flying High

I don't like to brag or boast BUT in 19 days I will be boarding a pair of silver wings for a flight to New York City.  For 6 days & 5 nights I will be involved in a 3-way with the Big Apple, my man friend & me.  It's a dream trip come true. We've not set a specific agenda yet but these are just a couple of things I want, I mean we want to do:

Stand on the Brooklyn Bridge
Stand on the observation deck at the tip top of the Empire State Building.
Stand inside the Chrysler Building.
Put the Statue of Liberty in my line of vision.
Eat a slice of pizza that you have to fold together.
Hail a taxi.
See Freedom Tower.
Drink a cosmopolitan in NYC.
See Carnegie Hall & Deli.
Not look like country comes to town while strolling down the avenue.
Purchase my first Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 bag from 5th Avenue.
See Rockefeller Center.
Skip through Central Park.
Seriously, visit the Guggenheim.
Go to a Yankees game & yes they have a home stand that week!
SNL live taping - really serious, I entered the lotto for September tickets.

Ok, I have to reel it back in to the here & now but don't be jealous ---- I shall think of you all!!

Man vs. Mammal

I was watching the news this morning & there was a story about Sea World trainers not being allowed in the water with killer whales after the death of a fellow trainer 4 years ago. One correspondent or someone who knows everything said "It's not if a killer whale will attack a trainer but when".  Uh, huh.  I don't believe for one second that the trainers are not aware that swimming around with a 20 foot, 4 ton mammal could cause more than a black eye.  Also note the name of the mammal - KILLER WHALE (do your homework people and watch Orca). No one would get in a car with SERIAL KILLER Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer after seeing a diagram of what they could do your body, right?  But, people do continue to sky dive, bungee jump or zip line through the jungle even after signing a waiver that equipment could fail leading to death. I think they call it kamikaze an adrenaline rush, right again?

The point is this - if the trainers have so much passion for a career of working with marine life in an entertainment setting, let them do it, pay to see them do it, but don't boo & hiss when they're pulled to the bottom of the pool for the grand finale.

100% Pure Talent

You don't get this type of burn by not knowing what you are doing.  Private lessons are available.

My So Called Digital Life

Today I did the unthinkable - I deactivated my Facebook account.  It is one less thing I will feel the tugging need to check & surely with the 10 minutes gained by clicking "deactivate my account" my life will be more serene because now I can look at Pinterest (even more if that is possible). 

Since the purchase of my magical super duper celly my romantic relationship has suffered.  My manfriend and I don't communicate as much vocally as before. He and I sit in silence while he pushes his iPad and/or iPhone to the far digital limits they may reach and I view cuddly animals and recipes (that I will never attempt) via Pinterest.   We don't laugh at each other or with each other we just show the other one pictures we find on our electronic devices that might invoke a snicker. Even when there is the rare opportunity that we may sit on the couch together and the TV is on - one of us has a fancy gadget in our hands.  And in the car?  Forget it, it's like riding with a ghost. Yes, it is sad but it is only a sign of things to come. 

If any of you out there are gadgety literate but lonely, you are not alone and I know how bad it sucks.

*Triple Super Duper Sigh*

The streets of Mayberry are no longer safe...

Goodbye Sheriff Taylor.

*Double Super Sigh*

Between Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell possibly being the anti-christ...

& Danny Zuko possibly being a pole smoker...

the world as we know it has some serious issues.

The Search for Tomrrow

The search is actually 7 years away...the tomorrow  which I am speaking of involves a 9 year old boy and his 16th birthday present from his mother (a/k/a The W).  The present for his 16th birthday from his stellar mother & Blacktooth (see previous post for reference) is a boat of his choice.  Yes people, not a car or truck, but a boat.  Here in Sweet Home Alabama our roadways are not asphalt or even dirt if you can even fathom that...but water. WATER!  Fucking H. Two. Oh.  High schools don't have parking lots they have piers and marinas. I know, right? 

Sign up for your private riverboat cruise now...only  $19.95 per person & if you respond right now - I'll double the offer just pay seperate processing and handling.

As the World Turns

I know I shouldn't talk about other people or let what others do affect me...but I just can't make this stuff up. Real conversations that my man friend's son had with me in the past two days.

Monday night during dinner -----

Son:  Hey Kim did you know that my mom is going to have to quit her job?

Me:  No, I didn't.  Why?

Son:  Because mom's husband (he said his real name but here on out he will be known as Black Tooth) said she had to.

Me: Why?
Son: Because we were going to her work because she FORGOT TO DO PAYROLL and Black Tooth got mad & they went into the bedroom & when she came out she said "I have to quit my job because of Black Tooth".
Me: Oh.

Son: But she can't quit until she gets her small business going.

Me: What is her small business?

Son: Cakes or something.

Me: Oh.

Who forgets to do payroll? Who takes their kids into the office to do forgotten payroll?   I turn in payroll EVERY Monday morning.  Trust, me I would never forget. 


Yesterday in the car ----

Son: (we were chatting about last Christmas & who had came over that day for lunch) Isn't that little girl religious?

Me: Yes like your mom.

Son: But she's not.  She only acts that way because of Black Tooth.

Me: Oh.


Editor's Note: Reference of Black Tooth to my man friend's ex-wife's new husband is due to the fact that he does have a black tooth directly in the front of his mouth.  Also noting that we were once told by the ex-wife that her new husband makes so much money that money is never an issue.  If so, then why he does he have a black tooth & and why is their home mobile?

Apples & Bat Shit

I have succumbed to the gadgetry age of anew....(drum roll)....I am now the proud user of an I Phone 4S. Am I in love with it? Guilty! Until recently my thought process was this "I have a work phone & if I didn't have that one, I wouldn't have one at all". I am ever so slightly eating those words at that moment. This would be the apples part.

And this would be the bat shit part as in bat shit crazy:

~~After praying asking god to help be accept this one thing I can't change after all the disagreements smashing down more beating it down finally last night. When faced once again with this issue I finally said I'm over it the amount of weight I felt come off of me was unreal thank you god for your help I was shocked what a hold this issue really had on Me~~

Yes folks those are the real words taken from my man friend's ex-wife's social media page - grammatical errors & all. She offered no insight as to what was going on only the initial cry for attention. Funny how she capitalized Me & not God...

And These Are the Days Our Lives....

**Warning - Long Post**

My blog = my thoughts & words, right? Good. I want to go into a rage about ex-wives. Not just ex-wives in general but the under/over medicated lying sort. In all of my dating years I have never been involved with anyone who had an ex-wife or kids. It was against my dating policy, but somehow an addendum was made to my existing very strict policy.

In the beginning the signs were there. Text messages sent to her new boyfriend/husband that were also sent to her ex-husband ie. my man friend. Actual excerpts from the ex-wife's "misdirected" texts:

"No, I don't need a car for Christmas, just floor mats"

"I have something at home that needs your attention :)"

"Grilled chicken, vegetables for dinner"

"Why don't you bend me over the bar stool pull my panties to the side and shove your hard cock into my wet, wet pussy LOL"

Clear attempts to make someone jealous, right? Let's not stop there...

The following are actual incidents or conversations the ex-wife has shared with my man friend since finding her one true love:

Before their divorce was final she told my man friend that her soon to be husband wanted to get married within 2 weeks.

Either before her marriage or right after she shared this info with my man friend -"We are in a partnership and we are equals".

Her new husband was going to get her new boobs for Christmas. (she never got them)

She was on the accelerated nursing program and she was also accepted into 2 different nursing schools (she has since dropped out).

Speaks loudly about how much money they have, noting money is never an issue. Once it was $60k in the bank, then it was $7k in the bank (but they had to finance a TV).

She was so lonely she had to get a dog & that her new husband thinks she and my man friend were seeing each other and because of this every text that she sends, the new hubby also gets a copy of it on his phone.

She allows the youngest child - 5 yrs. old - to sleep in the bed with her & new hubby stating that she allows this because she can't keep her new husband off of her & he wants more kids. (the kid is a deterrent even though the guy wants more)

Her new husband wants her to quit her job. (prior to this job she was attempting nursing school and wasn't working & with all of their wealth why does she have to work?)

The smallest child was in private school last year & the ex-wife stated that she paid her portion of the tuition 3 months in advance in cash. (We paid our portion via check on the due date every month which was the 10th. Monthly statements were issued every month & clearly noted on each statement were late fees where her portion of the tuition was paid after the 10th of each month in cash.)

The youngest boy supposedly broke his finger but was taken to a local drug store where a splint was purchased & the kid was instructed by the mother to tell everyone they went to the ER (finger wasn't broken).

She had a mini stroke & fell & hit her head at work (this job was prior to nursing school & not only was it a mini stroke and she was admitted through the ER but not transported by ambulance & she was released in like 2 hours! Did any of you get that? A mini stroke, no ambulance, no hospital stay & an ER release within 2 hours. Impossible.).

Again, this is just a smidgen of the idiocy I have to deal with....I once heard that exes are like a bad restaurant. You finish your meal, pay the bill & never come back.

Complete the Story

Once upon a time there was a young boy who appeared to be nice and genuine. Other kids on the block soon took notice and included him in their fun and games. Then one day the young boy wanted to play harder and longer and no one else wanted too. In return the young boy became ............

Price Survey

Price paid at the gas pump by me for regular unleaded was $3.53 per gallon for a total of $50.02 to fill up my car.

It hurt.

The Man with the Plan

My grandfather better known as Papa is very ill. He is a heart patient and has been one since I can remember. He has had open heart surgery twice in 37 years & Papa is 82 years young (two years ago in the ER he told me he was going to make it to 100). He has a defibrillator that has done its job 4 times since last Tuesday. He is coherent, trying to eat a little here and there and is making jokes. The doctors are trying to correct his abnormal heart rhythm with medicine so he can stabilize and come home. Trying to stabilize his heart and all that is going on there is causing his kidneys to not function properly.

So this is my plea to you all - please mention him in your prayers. The world is a much better place with him in it.

Dirty Secrets

I am going to share something with you that I have kept to myself for 4 years now.

Long before these east coast meatballs



Were donning Ed Hardy I had hit a low point in my life by wanting one of these:



It was in Dillard's that I came face to face with the Ed Hardy Diddy Bag. It was beautiful hanging on display and I thought salaciously about making it mine but snapped back to reality and didn't make it mine after all. Thank you Oprah Winfrey & Tom Cruise for clarity.

What was I thinking?

You Found Me How?

I love the little Feedjit thing. I love to see how people stumbled here by the words used in their searches. Here are a few of late:

Daily Boob
The Daily Boob
Daily Boob Pics
Save the Ta-Tas
Mini Motley
Nikki Sixx Now
I'm sorry I haven't apologized I was too proud

Seems its all about the boobies!

Price Survey

Price at the pump for regular unleaded - $3.49 per gallon.

Yowza.