No Title 2

Sometime a song can say what you're feeling & sometime's a song is all you need....

Wasted Time
~~ The Eagles

Well baby, there you stand
With your little head, down in your hand
Oh, my god, you can't believe it's happening
Again
Your baby's gone, and you're all alone
And it looks like the end.

And you're back out on the street.
And you're tryin' to remember.
How will you start it over?
You don't know what became.
You don't care much for a stranger's touch,
But you can't hold your man.

You never thought you'd be alone this far
Down the line
And I know what's been on your mind
You're afraid it's all been wasted time

The autumn leaves have got you thinking
About the first time that you fell
You didn't love the boy too much, no, no
You just loved the boy to well, farewell
So you live from day to day, and you dream
About tomorrow, oh.
And the hours go by like minutes
And the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something to
Make them go away
And I could have done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind from wondrin' what
I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time

Ooh, another love has come and gone
Ooh, and the years keep rushing on
I remember what you told me before you went out on your own:
'sometimes to keep it together, we got to leave it alone.
So you can get on with your search, baby, and I can
Get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find , that it wasn't really
Wasted time

Self-Economics

Ec⋅o⋅nom⋅ics [ek-uh-nom-iks, ee-kuh-]
–noun 1. (used with a singular verb) the science that deals with the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services, or the material welfare of humankind.

Self-worth [self-wurth]
–noun the sense of one's own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.

We are all worth something whether we want to believe it or not. Some of us might be worth more on paper, some by what we have hidden under a matress and some by our inner workings. In today's poor economy, what is your self-worth?

Tears in My Beer

Today I had lunch with my family at my grandparent's home. After lunch, the men hang out in front of the TV and take naps and the ladies take to the front porch to rock and swing. In the middle of our rocking and swinging my grandmother looks at me and says "I just realized who you remind me of, Aunt Jessie". "She had black hair and was short, squatty and fat". I have not much of an idea who Aunt Jessie was, all I could say was "I hope she was pretty". Her response, "she wasn't a bad looking woman". Uh, ok. Then sometime later she says "you have an Italian nose". Uhhh, ok. I am an overly sensitive person. Have been all my life. It was all I could do not to roll away crying. No my grandmother wasn't over or under medicated and she is not going senile. I can only surmise that when you reach a certain age you can say whatever to whoever you want. Also in my summation, I realize when my feelings get hurt it doesn't make me want to rise above the comment and find the better me. Instead I want to retreat into a place that is dark and alone. I've always said I like my own company better than anyone else's and this might be the reason why. I don't need constant reminders of my shortcomings ie. too fat, too selfish, take too many naps, have too many freckles, my non-Italian heritage, liking of expensive things and that I will eat ketchup on the finest steak in town. I'm a realist, none of us are perfect but isn't that for our own judging if we should be judged at all?

I think I'll I go sit in my closet and have a cocktail now.

The Eye of the Beholder

When you see this image what emotion does it trigger? Pride? Ignorance? Heritage? Hate? Misunderstanding? Dueling banjos? Or something all together different?

Random Thoughts 6

If I have no children but everything else I desire will I be happy, satisfied or just content? I am pretty sure I don't feel incomplete due to not having any but does society really dictate for women that children & marriage are a way of saying "I have arrived"?

Are having children really a way of staying young forever?

What will I die from? Will I die alone?

Why?

Who Is That?

I am a HUGE fan of Post Secret. I literally salivate every Sunday morning when I'm getting my full dose of Sunday Secrets. I bought one of the Post Secret books today. As I was flipping through, I came across a secret on page 265. The secret reads "I still wonder what life would be like if I'd just had the courage to tell her...we haven't spoken in 5 years and I'm happily married". The secret features a picture of a girl. Without a doubt - without a single doubt - the girl is me. I've asked several people if they think the picture is me and the answer is "yes". I did not submit the secret but I can't help think about who might have. I have tried to remember what, when or how this picture was taken. I have no idea whom I haven't spoken to in 5 years. I am not flattered, upset or bewildered. Okay, maybe a bit bewildered. I've had the book in possession for 8 hours and I am fully consumed with the secret.

What would you think or do?

The Blogger's Couch

Blogging is a way to express ourselves. We can say what we want to say. Vent, scream or even show vast amounts of love for the most mundane things. Post whatever pictures we like. Conduct polls of useless criteria. We find new friends, form bonds as we blog about elbow macaroni, BBQ grills, bacon, cheap dirty sex, dog poo and all sorts of emotional needs. We all have an open door policy & will see you at any given time, no appointment needed. We create our own safe little corner in the big old bad intraworldwideweburnet. So we all agree blogging is cheaper than therapy but does it really work? Do you feel better after you read something someone has shared with the world? Do you feel relieved when you share something someone else reads from the world? Does your heart race when you see your comment number rising? Does it make you smile, smirk or reach for that bottle of vodka?

*note* reaching for vodka does not mean you are in a depressed state of mind so reach farther

Singing & holding a candle - "I'd like to write the world a blog and keep it company...that's the word I write".

Random Thoughts 5

Feeling lonely(no surprise) on a Tuesday evening and as a million things ran through my mind I thought:

Why do people cheat? Is it the thrill of the hunt? The excitement of the find? Why not free our self of one thing before we try on another thing? Do we cheat to fill a void, searching for the famous greener grass? No one ever thinks "that grass still has to be cared for" before they cross to the other side. Guess what? That greener grass is just as needy as the grass you just stepped away from.

What inspires one doesn't always inspire another. I think money moves us all but what about the ones who are moved by mere words, songs or simple acts of kindness? Or even those crazy weight loss infomercials? I want to be moved. I want to be inspired. I hope for a little of both.

The older I get, I wish I had a sibling. Being an only child is tough sometimes but the cool thing, you can never be out done because you have zero competition. (sometimes I wish had a competitor)

No one in death since Princess Diana has created so much buzz and media coverage as Michael Jackson.

Happy 4th of July!

Take It or Leave It

Folks just love to hand out advice. Sometimes we want it, sometimes we want to believe it and then there are the times when we want to rip the vocal chords from the very person trying to offer the fix.

Now some advice is universal:

Live and learn.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. (I am particularly fond of this little ditty)

Tomorrow is another day.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth. (I've never fully understood this one)

You get the point about universal advice - quick, mostly painless, to the point.

The other type of advice is a little more intricate but proverbial if you will:

It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but friction. ~~Henry Ward Beecher

A loving heart is the truest wisdom. ~~Charles Dickens

To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.~~Samuel Butler

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key. ~~ The Eagles, "Already Gone"


I don't know that I give advice so much as to add encouragement or give blips of inspiration, only when asked of course. Just because my life is fucked up, doesn't mean I can't fix yours. So take it or leave it.

No Title

Some days I feel so lonely. Today is one of those days.

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
~ Mother Teresa

Happy Father's Day.

Love Story

I was watching Rocky Balboa. In one scene Rocky & Paulie visit the apartment that Rocky first walked Adrian home to. In the movie Adrian has died & every year whether on their anniversary or her birthday he relives their life. Visits the apartment, the pet store where he first saw her, takes flowers and sits by her grave. Endearing and tearful because he loved her and misses her so much. Which brings me to this blog post. What is the greatest love story ever told? One from the big screen, your parents or the one you're in? Maybe its something out of the norm, something like the love one may have for handbags, chap stick or Nikki Sixx. But I think those border on obsession. Obsession is not to be confused with love. Like a boy and his dog or a man and his car - those are love stories of sorts.

My grandmother told my granfather once - "if I die and you remarry I will sit on your head board every night". Love or slight dementia?

My greatgrandfather -once said of my great-grandmother who had passed away 8 years prior after (over) 60 years of marrirage - "I sure do you miss that woman. She was a fine woman and the love of my life". Loneliness or true love?

"They" say there is someone for all of us. We have no instruction manual or any GPS that points us toward that person. Just two people flailing around in the big world looking for something and have no idea what it is. When we find that person or they find us what story will we have to tell? A love story or a horror story?

Duh-Ooooh Over

Right now, if Robin Williams appeared to you as a blue genie and offered you a wish, but the wish was already chosen for you and it was for a life do-over would you take it? Would you undo every aspect of your entire life or only small parts? One big part or none at all? Would you study harder in school? Make the leap for college? Not smoke that first cigarette or take that first drink that led to many many more? Not make fun of the fat kid? Rekindle an old flame? Leave the shitty relationship you're in? Not have children? Have more children? Or maybe it would be something as trivial as not driving across loose sand?

I would definitely take the do-over. All those times I made my mom worry, I would undo everyone of them. When someone did something to me that I knew was wrong, I would not keep it to myself for fear of being seen as the one to blame.

All of the bad things I've seen, heard and been a part of doesn't define who I am today but are a part of me. I refuse to be a statistic but sometimes it's hard not to become a small one.

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe our do-over starts then.

My First Award!

Eadyn is showing me some love!

Here are the RULES of this Award:

(1) Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
(2) Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
(3) Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
(4) Name 7 things about yourself that people might find interesting.
(5) Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
(6) Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
(7) Leave a comment on each of the blogs, letting them know they have been nominated.


Seven things you may or may not find interesting...

1. I have broken both of my thumbs. My left thumb 3 times.
2. I still own 6 Cabbage Patch kids & can name them all.
3. I've been engaged 4 times.
4. I was born on Christmas Day.
5. When I close my eyes under the running water in the shower I am afraid a shark face will come out of the shower head.
6. I've been in 7 automobile accidents - injuries from only three.
7. I could eat Hunts Snak Pak chocolate pudding cups until the pudding comes out of my ears.

Spreading the love...

1. Driven to Distraction
2. The Fragrant Liar
3. Frank (slept here & here)
4. The Majority of Two
5. Holy Crappers
6. Eat, Bitch & Whine
7. Things Men Say

Random Thoughts 4

Why do people get married? Moral obligation? Fulfillment? Security? Love? A big party? I use to think that little gold band had magical powers and I still do. Sometimes I wish I had a little (diamond encrusted) gold band on my finger.

Why are older women who like younger men called cougars? Why not a cheetah (because they are fast)? Or a raccoon (they wash their hands before they eat)? A mole (because they are blind)?

Why do dirty old men have to be just that? I was having dinner last Sunday at a restaurant that features interim line dancing. At the cue of certain songs, the staff kicks little "jigs" all over the restaurant. One particular table in the line of firing seated two older couples - probably teetering on the age of 60 for all involved. A dirty old man in the group had a front row view of said "jiggers". As the other guests at the table pretended not to notice the jiggly body movements of young girls in tight britches, the DOM stopped mid-bite to watch. With his perfectly coiffed preacher's helmet and thick figaro style gold necklace he licked his chops, curled his lip and arched his eyebrow at the booty beside him. Assuming the lady seated by him was his grand-baby grand-mama, she was completely oblivious to the blatant eye fucking going on as she was eating her steak. I won't lie, I often window shop but I would not dare do it with my beloved sitting right beside me and I surely wouldn't set my sights on someone young enough to be my grandson even if he had the dimples of Antonio Sabato Jr., the arms of a god...or was the smitten image of Nikki Sixx. (Chanting - eyes straight ahead, hands to yourself, eyes straight ahead, hands to yourself) Why, I'm a lady (a lady who uses the word fuck alot).

Overheard at Work

I possibly had my nose where it didn't belong or in this case, my ears.

"You ain't leaving me. I love you."

You Know Who You Are...

Checking my e-mail today - I came across one from a friend that contained this:

a reminder

if i get old,
i will not give in
but if i do,
remind me of this:

remind me that
once i was free,
once i was cool,
once i was me

and if i sat down and crossed my arms,
hold me onto this song

knock me out,
smash out my brains,
if i take a chair
and start to talk shit

if i get old,
remind me of this:
one night we kissed,
and i really meant it

whatever happens,
if we're still still speaking,
pick up the phone,
play me this song

- radiohead

I promise if you get old...if you become forgetful...if you are no longer cool...if you talk shit...I will not smash your brains out but I will play this song:

~~~ I tried to make it Sunday but I got so damned depressed, that I set my sights on Monday and I got myself undressed. I ain't ready for the altar but I do agree there's times when a woman sure can be a friend of mine ~~~ America, "Sister Golden Hair"

Overheard in McDonald's

I took an early Saturday trip to McDonald's. After I got my iced non-fat mocha and began walking toward the door, I heard an older black lady tell a younger white woman "I said, either you are married or you are romantically involved. I could see you loved him in your smile". I turned to look at the couple and I saw it too.

"I'm lovin' it."

Saying Good-bye To Yesterday

Who has said good-bye to yesterday and why is it so hard to do so? Some say there is no good in good-bye, I beg to differ. Sometimes saying good-bye is exactly what we need to do.

To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment. ~George Lansdowne

Good-byes breed a sort of distaste for whomever you say good-bye to; this hurts, you feel, this must not happen again. ~Elizabeth Bowen

If I leave here tomorrow, will you still remember me? ~Lynrd Skynrd, "Free Bird"


Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened, right? Gimme a fucking break.

Sunday Stealing (on a Monday morning): The A to Z Meme

A
• Are you available? Define available.
• What is your age? A lady never tells her age but if I had to throw a number
around-34 would do.
• What annoys you? People who chew with their mouth open.


B
• Do you know anyone named Billy? Yup.
• When is your birthday? Christmas Day.
• Who is your best friend? I have 4...Hope, Lisa, Lynn, Hoppe.


C
• What's your favorite candy? Gimme chocolate.
• Crush? Ahh yes...two of them --- Nikki & Ryan.
• When was the last time you cried? Yesterday.


D
• Do you daydream?: Day dream, night dream. I do it all.
• What's your favorite kind of dog? Basset hound - shhh, don't tell the others.
• What day of the week is it? Monday - even though I am Sunday Stealing.

E
• How do you like your eggs? Over medium - covered in grits.
• Have you ever been in the emergency room? 3 times - Emergency appendectomy, some
weird reaction to shrimp & Rolling Rock, slashed a finger-needed stitches -- all
pure talent.
• Ever pet an elephant? Yes.


F
• Do you use fly swatters? No.
• Have you ever used a foghorn? Foghorn Leghorn?
• Is there a fan in your room? Human type or cooling type? If so, I have both. If not, then I just have one or the other.

G
• Do you chew gum? Yes. Grape Hubba Bubba is the stuff.
• Do you like gummy candies? Gummy bears...only.
• Do you like gory movies? Me likey the blood & guts.


H
• How are you? Physically - my neck is sore & my face is really tender near the jaw
area, left side, like something bit me but not a bug bite. Weird. Emotionally -
spent. Mentally - exhausted.
• What's your height? 5'5 1/2"
• What color is your hair? Dark brown. Classic brunette shall we say?

I
• What's your favorite ice cream? Ben & Jerry's - Karmal Sutra
• Have you ever ice skated? Nope.
• Ever been in an igloo? Ok, no.


J
• What's your favorite Jelly Bean? Grape.
• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Yes. What is green and sings? Elvis Parsley! (it's so corny but every time I get a chuckle)
• Do you wear jewelry? Earrings, two rings, necklace - every day.

K
• Who do you want to kill? The "W"...is that wrong? It has to be, but WTF ever. (and I am not talking about the former prez)
• Have you ever flown a kite? Yes.
• Do you think kangaroos are cute? Totally.


L
• Are you laidback? I use to be. There was a time...
• Lions or Tigers? Tigers.
• Do you like black licorice? No.


M
• Favorite movie as a kid? The Wizard of Oz.
• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? Gonna go out on a limb - and say no.
• Favorite store at the mall? Kirkland's


N
• Do you have a nickname? Several - Kim Buck, Kimmie Pie, Betty, Monkey.
• Whats your favorite number? 20.
• Do you prefer night or day? Night.


O
• What's your one wish? Correct change always - if it costs $1048.63. Hand goes into
pocket - out comes correct change.
• Are you an only child? Yes. Parents stopped at perfection.
• Do you like the color orange? Never thought about it - but now that I am asked -
no.


P
• What are you most paranoid about? My teeth falling out.
• Piercings? Ears. Two times.
• Do you know anyone named Penelope? No.

Q
• Are you quick to judge people? I thought no but very recently, someone told me I was a "judger".
• Do you like Quaker Oats? Nope.
• Know anyone that makes quilts? Yes. Former roommate - quilting queen.
• Do you think you're always right? In my world - yes.
• Do you watch reality TV? Love it.
• Reason to cry? I can cry on command but usually there is a "D" reason.

S
• Do you prefer sun or rain? Sun.
• Do you like snow? Yes!
• What's your favorite season? Winter.

T
• What time is it? 9:20 am
• What time did you wake up? 4:41 am

U
• Can you ride a unicycle? Never tried.
• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? A couple of fellas I work with.
• How many uncles do you have? 4? That doesn't quite sound right...but I think it's
a good solid number.


V
• What’s the worst vegetable? Turnips.
• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? No. I am child free.
• Ever considered being vegan? Yes. I put it on my New Year's resolution list -
EVERY YEAR and I fail every year.


W
• What's your worst habit? I tend to ask too many questions & I'm pretty naive.
• Do you like water rides? Yes.
• Ever been inside a windmill? Eh, no.


X
• Have you ever had an x-ray? Yes.
• Ever used a Xerox machine? Uh, duh.


Y
• Do you like the color yellow? Um...I suppose.
• What year were you born in? 1974. Shit, I just gave away my age.
• Do you yell when you're angry? No, I cry. Refer to "Q" questions.

Z
• Do you believe in the zodiac? Eh, sometimes. Example -- I was reading someone's
zodiac to them & it contained something like - you will have to choose between K
& C. Just so happened I was the K and the ex-girlfriend was the C.
• What's your zodiac sign? Capricorn.
• When was the last time you went to the zoo? I have four dogs -- technically, I
live in one.

Voila! Your Turn