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The Band Perry

2012-01-26T10:12:00.007-06:00

I am not one to knock anyone's dream down & dreamers I am speaking of are The Band Perry. I have lived in Mobile, Alabama since 1992 & until 2009 had never heard of them. Their claim is to be from Mobile. I never once saw them at any country music joint, Bay Fest, any Mardi Gras function or heard an interview on a local radio station

"Daddy rocked us to sleep with the Rolling Stones; Mama woke us up with Loretta Lynn. So we get it honest." - Kimberly Perry

"Even as the three worked in different bands, the siblings would spend nights at
home playing together: "I remember sitting out on our front porch singing old Hank
Williams and Bobbie Gentry songs in three-part harmony, hoping to channel the spirits
of old country through musical séance while fighting off the southern Alabama
mosquitoes," says Kimberly.

The three have always felt the drive to perform and create music, sweating out the
summers in Mobile, Alabama playing in any dusty roadhouse or church that would have them.

The Band Perry's ages = Kimberly - 1983, Reid - 1988, Neil - 1990

Other Mobile natives who aren't national sensations and play local gigs are Wes Loper & Dan Eubanks.

Now don't get me wrong - I do like The Band Perry (alot) but there didn't seem to be any struggle to get to the top & all this twangy, sentimental stuff about being from Mobile is a bit much....

Happy Birthday!

2012-01-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

Happy 60th birthday to be exact.

Now, I normally wouldn't do this birthday post because Ubersnatch, seeing how they're lovers, should have done it...but like all things in life if you want it done, you have to do it yourself.

"People want a thrill, people love a spectacle and people love to be entertained". ~~ Paul Stanley

Dream Weaver

2012-01-19T07:53:00.002-06:00

I had a dream last night that involved a witch, a shabby house, bears and a wolf. Naturally I consulted my dream book & this is what that pervert Freud had to say:

Witch - The wicked witch does not necessarily imply that we fear or hate our mother -on the contrary, it may represent repressed incestuous desire for her. Say what?

House - An abandoned house in disrepair may indicate the dreamer's neglect of physical or emotional health. I do understand this & I can relate.

Bears - Of all the things I could research in this book - all 1,001 of them there was not one mention of a bear. But if I wanted to find out about a vacuum cleaner which reads - Vacuuming dust may signify a wish to move on from the loss of someone who has left our lives - or Pinocchio - The puppet that turns into a little boy may evoke a wish to inject new life into stilted ideas. The PHALLIC symbol of Pinocchio's nose growing each time he lies may represent guilt about sexual dishonesty. He left out the part that he was made out of WOOD.

Wolf - The wolf can symbolize the savagery of uncontrolled impulses in our unconscious, threatening to destroy the dreamer's first fragile spiritual notions. Alternatively, however, the wolf, lone hunter in the night may evoke the courage and nobility necessary to the dreamer's solitary quest for self-fulfillment. I can make the correlation here as well.

Alright, now for all of you who feel dumber for reading this raise your hand and for those of you who feel as if you now qualify for a doctorate raise both hands.

Hey You Know...

2012-01-18T09:17:00.003-06:00

When people judge others because someone said something, didn't do something or did something completely ridiculous? Those judgemental people might say "you're 30 years old, grow up!".

Then when those same judgemental people that told that someone to grow up finds out they happened into an accidental death the tune changes from "grow up" to "wow, they were only 30 years old".

Did I lose any of you?

Not No Way, Not No How

2012-01-16T11:55:00.004-06:00

I had a dream that involved snakes. They were crawling over and around me. All colors and all kinds. My mother was near me & was involved in helping me not move so I wouldn't get bitten. There was a cobra that was taunting me with its striking pose & I managed to grab it & milk venom from its fangs.

I consoled my dream book of knowledge & it had this to say about snakes : clearly a phallic symbol & often relates to "darker" things that the dreamer must confront.

Everything I dream about is always in some way related to a phallic symbol. Disturbing.

2012-01-11T08:12:00.000-06:00

If mosquitoes only sucked fat and not blood....

NOLA Bound

2012-01-05T08:18:00.002-06:00

My Gift To All Of You - Click Below

2011-12-28T08:56:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year!

My Christmas List...

2011-12-27T10:00:00.002-06:00

Beautiful & mine...

Covers my 12 square feet of heaven...

Totally unexpected...

Standard issue from my grandparents - x 2.
And a little happy...

Was absolutey filled! I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!

25 Days of a Christmas Birthday - Day 23

2011-12-23T10:53:00.002-06:00

Sike! He's still coming.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Just Jack

2011-12-22T09:00:00.000-06:00

My name is Jack but they call me Toot-Toot. I am a Pomeranian, a handsome lad, not very tall and for the present moment not very hairy. My mother decided I needed a shave down for the summer. So, I have a mane and a tail and the rest in between is skin bare. I weigh roughly eight pounds and when I bark my two front legs leave the ground. My mother says my rear end is as wide as pack of chewing gum. She rescued me four years ago from a police station. When she saw me, I knew she was hooked and I knew this rescue would not be a foster situation so as soon as she put me in the car, I backed the car out of the parking lot and drove her home. I still drive on occasion. Though a mama’s boy, I enjoy a cigar mid-day (my mother hates it when I smoke in the house) with a nice cognac and I am silver-tongued devil when it comes to the ladies.

I have three sisters who are all much larger and not of the same breed as me. They know I am the favorite child and often they try to get me into trouble. Liz or Lori will destroy window blinds trying to look out the windows and they try to blame it on me! First, I am about 14 inches tall and the windows have to be at least 3 feet from the floor. Second, I don’t do windows.

It is no secret I live a life of leisure and am possibly the most lucky dog in the world. Even when I snore, my mom says it sounds peaceful. Dad gets jealous sometimes but I just tell him if he can’t run with the big dogs then stay off the porch. He doesn’t see the humor in that as I do.

One year ago today, I lost this little man. Jack was a "rescue" and lived his best life in his last 6 years. He was loved and spoiled right until he the end. I'll miss him - my lttle toot-toot.

25 Days of a Christmas Birthday - Day, I Forget What Day It Is

2011-12-21T08:41:00.001-06:00

I guess even if it were in haste...some people might be glad my parents had unprotected sex nine months prior to my birthday. Right? Hello? Anyone? Glad?

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday - Day 14

2011-12-14T10:21:00.003-06:00

"You don't smell like Santa. You smell like beef & cheese. You sit on a throne of lies".

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday - Day 12

2011-12-12T12:35:00.004-06:00

I am a crappy, secret girlfriend. Twice now I have forgotten to wish my secret lovah a Happy Birthday on his birthday...as you can see by the picture below, he also knows I have forgotten it twice.

Happy Belated Birthday Nikki Sixx!

2011-12-08T07:43:00.002-06:00

If you've seen this person, please contact your local authorities immediately. The known assailant is drunk & cheap or in other words a cheap drunk and was last seen at a local brothel known as HBAG. Person has been known to keep a spider monkey attached to his chin & facial area.

Again, if you have seen this person please contact your local authorities immediately.

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday - Day 7

2011-12-07T07:52:00.003-06:00

Wait, hold on, let me poke it out a little more. There. Kiss it till it stings!

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday - Day 6

2011-12-06T14:07:00.003-06:00

My tree complete with a lifetime of Christmas oranment collecting - 562 to be exact.

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday - Day 5

2011-12-05T15:21:00.001-06:00

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday - Day 2

2011-12-02T09:08:00.002-06:00

I want to share my most my favorite Christmas song with you all...sing along, you won't be able to help yourself.

I Want A Hippototamus For Christmas

25 Days of A Christmas Birthday

2011-12-01T09:14:00.003-06:00

For those of you who know me, who think you know me and who want to know me, Christmas is my favorite time of the year. What makes Christmas even more special is it's also my birthday month - December 25th to be exact. Trust me on this, if I don't announce it to everyone and revel in the joy myself no one else will because it always gets lost in other excitment and festivities.

So....

All Alone in the World

2011-11-30T10:02:00.003-06:00

Every wonder why there are so many lonely, single males in the world? Think about it for a second --- most men aren't picky when they've been on a long dry spell and most gals can be harkened with sweet nothings by those same men. But what happens when that guy on that long dry spell tries his best to win favor of any woman, dare I say even desperate ones and is still rejected? It's not pretty.

Douche Bag:
1. An object used for vaginal hygeine.
2. A person that is a total moron and doesn't think before he/she speaks or acts.
3. One with an undescribeable idiocy, hence stupidity, poor idea of what's cool,
possibly an arrogance about them.
4. One with an intolerable personality.

2011-11-29T11:03:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T07:05:00.002-06:00

May you get to enjoy some:

Turkey Breast

With dressing.

Gobble, Gobble!

Boobie Nights

2011-11-22T07:18:00.001-06:00

4 weeks.

My Chariots of Fire

2011-11-18T10:13:00.000-06:00

Wonder Twin Powers Activate!

2011-11-17T09:14:00.002-06:00

Form of:

The color of your top + the first object to your right = your super hero name.

A Green Mouse.

I am the Green Mouse!

2011-11-16T10:05:00.001-06:00

Could that be any sweeter?. If only...

The Boob of Hazzard

2011-11-15T07:16:00.000-06:00

Day 21. Looking better, for sure.

2011-11-14T08:50:00.000-06:00

Aww.

Uncle Bill

2011-11-11T07:29:00.002-06:00

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. Uncle Bill passed yesterday afternoon around 5:15. Aunt Mary, their children, UB's mom & other friends had flown in to be with him.

Thank you again.

Listen Up...

2011-11-09T22:46:00.003-06:00

I have an Uncle in need. His name is Uncle Bill but I call him UB. He is my mother's baby sister's husband and I have always been very fond of him. UB has been in my family's life for 30 years. UB is very sick. He is now living the last hours of his life at his home in California. There are 106 followers on my blog list and this is a reach out to all of them...those who do and those that might...pray for my UB. Pray that he gets better very quickly or pray that UB reaches that Heavenly home just as easily. Thank you.

UB & Aunt Mary

2011-11-09T14:26:00.002-06:00

Gone with the Boob

2011-11-08T08:52:00.003-06:00

Day 14. Looking better. The area around the incision is hard and the area aches. Weird and not wonderful.

Good bye Mr. Rooney

2011-11-08T07:33:00.002-06:00

"I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you." ~~ Andy Rooney

Too Boob or Not To Boob

2011-11-04T08:35:00.002-05:00

Day 9. The top of the incision still looks pretty funky.

The Daily Boob

2011-11-03T07:41:00.003-05:00

Day 8. The top of the incision looks a little worse for wear and the irritation the bandaging caused seems to be getting better.

The Daily Boob

2011-11-02T09:24:00.005-05:00

Exactly one week after surgery. The incision is vertical on the side of my right breast and is about 2 inches long. The area around the incision became irritated from the bandaging which is why it looks so funky.

Enjoy.

The Daily Boob

2011-11-01T07:32:00.003-05:00

For you Tuesday night drinkers I am going to give you two very good reasons to celebrate: The first is my final pathology results are in for my boob: the lesion was not malignant and there were no signs of precancerous cells. Woo-hoo!

The second great reason to celebrate in today's history was the birth of a man known to some as Heff. Happy Birthday Heff!

Heff & boobs. Not much different than any other day now is it?

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T08:03:00.001-05:00

Pre-Op & Post-Op BS

2011-10-27T08:56:00.006-05:00

I had to be at the breast center Tuesday morning at 9:30. I arrived on time in full make-up, full hair and fully clothed. At the breast center I was to have an ultrasound, a needle localization and a mammogram. The ultrasound was to locate the "marker" that was inserted into the biopsied area when I had the fine needle aspiration of a cyst. The ultrasound could not locate the marker thus forcing me to the humility of a sterotactic table. This table has a hole in the center of if it which, you guessed it, is where your breast "hangs down" through it. You lie face down on the table while people are "working" on your breast. Obviously you can't see what is going on because you are 5 feet in the air and all of the over paid people are underneath the table working with your breast like its a car on a garage rack. X-rays are taken of your breast to locate the marker so the needle localization can be administered. Awesome.

After a $250 co-pay, inquiring of a living will, 12 x-rays, one ultrasound, one mammogram, a wire insertion to my breast, 6 people touching and squeezing my unhappy boobie, transportation in a wheelchair to a hospital van, then transportation from the car through the hospital lobby atrium into pre-op, peeing in a cup, undressing right down to what God gave me, IV insertion with an IV cocktail, crying 3 times because of the humiliation and given an awful patient surgery hat for me to wear I was taken to the operating room.

Two deep breathes of something wonderful and then I woke up to find my breast still in tact. A sweet nurse offered me something for pain. Three pumps of morphine later, I was taken into a another post-op recovery area. I was offered Sprite and crackers. After minimal consumption I became very nauseated. Latex gloves filled with ice were put under my neck & alcohol swabs were placed on my face. I began to feel better until I sat up and it all came back.

Moving on...my mom helped me get dressed and I was trying not to projectile vomit. I finally said I was ready to go and I made it to the car. On the way home I threw up four times in a barf bag in front of someone - I am a loner when it comes to puking but I could not help it. Everytime I heaved I apologized for doing so (I am a violent puker). Finally made it home around 7:00 in the evening. I took a pain pill with a nausea pill and I slept until 8 am the next morning. So....two days later I am alive! I go for the final test results Monday morning.

Thank you everyone who wished me well. And for your viewing pleasure:

People to Do, Places to See

2011-10-24T11:14:00.004-05:00

Hey party people...my big day is tomorrow. By big day I mean tomorrow is the day for my surgery and my anxiety level is in overload. No food or drink consumption after midnight tonight and I am nixing any hooch just for added goodness for my well being.

I have to be at the Breast Center for my needle localization tomorrow morning at 9:30. That involves having a wire inserted into my breast near and toward the area affected so the surgeon doesn't go in completely blind (what?). Then I will be transported to the outpatient center where I will register, sign my life away and be taken to pre-op where I will be given a trend setting, fancy, little gown and an IV cocktail so I can chill out for a minute before I am thrown to the wolves. The procedure should take more no more than an hour and a half depending upon if there is any more "involved area".

If all goes well I should go home after the surgery and sleep the rest of the day away.

Wish me luck....

Why oh Why?

2011-10-19T09:29:00.002-05:00

I've asked before but I wanted to ask again to see if anyone had any new insight:

Why are throw pillows so expensive?

Why are Christmas tree skirts so expensive?

Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen

2011-10-18T14:55:00.008-05:00

No secret I am a huge fan of the 80's and 90's metal/hair/glam bands. During that era a little group called Guns 'n Roses appeared on the scene. The lead screamer was Axl Rose.

There are now two versions of Axl:

The youthful and obnoxious Axl who many loved.

And the guy who ate Axl.

Wow.

Think (very) Pink

2011-10-13T08:50:00.006-05:00

How convenient that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month & I am having a breast issue myself. Coincidence?

My issue is the presence of a papillary lesion in my right breast. Due to the presence of this little guy I have to have it removed by surgery no less. So if I hadn't gone for my baseline mammogram the issue would have not been detected as early as it had. According to the surgeon who is going to take care of me, there is a 5% chance of the lesion could become cancerous and from there the turnover is rapid. So I have to tell myself that I am having surgery (even though I don't feel sick and has already cost me $1138.00 of out of pocket expenses)for a very good reason.

So girls (and a few dudes) take care of your girls!

Four Questions

2011-10-11T10:17:00.003-05:00

Why do you look differently in the mirror than you do in pictures?

How did "they" ascertatin the flavor of grape from what a grape really tastes or smells like?

Why can't you eat just one Lay's potato chip?

Why is it easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission?

To Public School or Home School....

2011-10-05T08:07:00.005-05:00

I might not have a voice here since I don't have kids and only attended public school for two years because I went to a private school the other 10 but...

My view of children who are home schooled and the parents who home school are outcasts, social rejects or are incapable of dealing with the real world. I had a friend, my next door neighbor who was home schooled. She was home schooled because she was a Jehovah's Witness. If you don't know much about the Jehovah's Witness religion, some would liken it to a cult. Witnesses don't celebrate any holidays including their own birthdays, don't salute the flag, they don't take or give blood, if you marry someone outside of the Witness circle you are removed from the congregation and I don't think they are allowed in any other religious buildings other than their Kingdom Halls. I have known my friend for over 30 years and even now when I see her she asks if I want to have a Bible study and because I am not married she will inquire of my sex life, because premarital sex is a no-no as well. But you get the idea right? She was a little weird because of her religion so she was home schooled which in turn made her a bit of a social reject. She married at 18 years old to man in her congregation and then she had an extra marital affair with her father in law (not a witness) who was 40 years her senior. She later married him, had a kid who is also home schooled. She was kicked out of her congregation because of the affair but "studied" so she could return to it and also "turned" her husband onto the ways of the Witness religion. Beyond me, she has no friends or outside life that involves non-Witnesses. Never had a real job. I believe she makes crafts and cleans houses (not that either of those are any less important). My point is, if she had been left in a "real" school her circumstances would have possibly been different.

I have noticed that home schooling parents are odd birds to begin with ie. the Duggars. The mother almost always dons an outdated hairstyle. The dad is never cool or hip. There is an over crazed view of religion. The kids themselves look unkempt. But none of that matters, really. By the way, the last time I saw my friend, she had hair clips all over her hair. Those hair clips are not intended for women her age...she is older than I.

I support public schools 100%. The teachers are trained in education where they have earned their teaching certificate. Children in public schools learn to interact socially in a diverse setting. Structure and goals are set and met daily. Some pose the statement that public schools aren't safe. The safety that is spoken of usually refers to Columbine or any other school shooting. How man public schools are in the USA - 125,000? That would equal 2500 schools per state. Out of those 125,000 public schools how many Columbine incidents are you aware of? 10? 15? While I realize that one incident is far too many the ratio speaks for itself. No place is immune to anyone walking in and unloading bullets - banks, churches, convenience stores, homes, sidewalks have all seen their share of fatalities. Again, you can't protect someone from everything even when your best intentions are in place.

Home schooling to me seems like no schooling. It is the parent's job to teach values, morals and life's lessons. It is the public teachers job to teach reading, writing, arithmetic, history, physical education and some more life lessons.

If you home school there are no proms, no sports, no SGA elections, no Valedictorians, no senior class trip, no high school sweethearts, no awful cafeteria food and no chance for making life long friends beginning in the first grade. What girl doesn't want to attend her high school prom or be voted for homecoming queen? What boy doesn't dream of being the star athlete or being a voice of the SGA?

Yes, I rambled and I am proud of it.

Breast Health 2.0

2011-09-27T07:37:00.010-05:00

I took extra care in prepping for my annual date with my gynecologist. My legs, armpits and other "important" areas were shaven and smooth, my toes were painted in OPI Red and I wore my nicest panties. Knowing that Dr. Helen doesn't really care about the extra effort but somehow hoping she appreciates it. After she got to first, second and third base she then destroyed the mood and suggested due to my age that I get a mammogram.

Two weeks later I am at the Breast Center getting my large breasts squeezed to the size of Texas toast. The exam itself doesn't hurt physically but it does hurt mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The nurse administering the exam had chilly hands and they were small. It took both of her little hands to lift my breast. It was utterly (pun intended) humiliating. After 15 minutes or so the exams were complete and I was on my way. Before departing the nurse said I should get a letter in a few days with the results of the exam. She did tell me sometimes they call you and if they do I shouldn't freak out.

Less than a week later I received a phone call from the Breast Center. There was something not normal in my right breast. I was scheduled to come back in for another mammogram and ultrasound. The ultrasound was just as humiliating and pride crushing as the mammograms. The conclusion was I had a cyst the size of a "milk dud" surrounded by some denser tissue. A biopsy was scheduled for the following week. Biopsy is a scary word. More so when the word is directed toward you.

In my family when there is any type of medical procedure scheduled, we roll in a posse. My mom, step-dad, grandmother, grandfather and grandfather and boyfriend were all in tow. We arrive at the Breast Center at 9:30 am. I had to have another mammogram before the biopsy (real fun) began. Ushered into another room, the lights were low and it looked kind of romantic except the large needle on the medical tray next to the gurney. I am instructed to lie down and a wedge is placed underneath my right side. Then I am told to lay my arm over my head. The wedge and my body placement is very uncomfortable. The nurse then exposes my breast and "scrubs" my entire right side. Naturally, I begin to cry because, again it is so humiliating. The nurse asks why I am so upset. I think to myself maybe its because you are scrubbing my boob with 10,000 grit sandpaper followed by an alcohol wash or maybe its because I am just lying here waiting for you to complete my beautiful breast and you aren't doing so. The radiologist of course, who turns out to be male comes in and says we are going to do a biopsy today but we are hoping the cyst aspirates upon contact. I felt a pinch which was a local anesthetic. Then a large needle was inserted and the cyst aspirated. A deeper tissue sample was not needed. The test was completed, I got a cute band aid followed by a cuter bruise. The fluid would be sent to pathology for further testing to determine if there any cancerous little guys in it.

The results are in. There seems to be no sign of malignancy but there is a presence of a papillary lesion. A consultation was set up with a surgeon and you guessed it, he was a male and suggested it be removed to avoid further issues down the road. The issue being a 5% chance it could turn cancerous and from that the turnover is very rapid. Like every other good surgeon in the practicing medical world he felt me up before delivering the news.

So ladies and yes, some of you men get your baseline mammograms when you turn 35, another in 3 years and then every year after 40. Yes, it is humiliating and they will try to squeeze every ounce of modesty out of you but love your breasts. Love them as you did when you first got them!

"I don't want to lose my breasts because they are fabulous." ~~ Samantha Jones

Hey Party People....

2011-09-23T08:12:00.002-05:00

Have a good weekend!

I'll Have the Vagie Juvie...

2011-09-13T09:28:00.004-05:00

The latest in plastic surgery is vaginal rejuvenation. You can have your "lower lips" contoured or have your vaginal opening "tightened" to be more aesthetic and more pleasurable (in my experience, I've never met a man who was really picky about what the pooty-poo looked liked). The procedure is not covered by insurance and the typical cost is around $9,000.00. In some cultures young girls are circumcised and the ritual female circumcision (clitoral cutting) has been under scrutiny for years and years as the circumcision offers no medical reasoning & typically the person performing the ritual is a family member (gags) and has, you got it, no medical training. "Hey Uncle Henry, I was thinking since you took that AG class in high school and you learned how to use a sautering iron you could give my private area some detailing. Mom & dad said it would be great if you would do it". (pukes)

So, we have young girls in other cultures screaming in agony as their family members force them to have their private parts mutilated & here in the good Ol' US of A we have women paying $9000.00 for some coochie ehancement? I don't get it.

But...

In a world where we can change hair color, eye color and plump up or deflate any part of our body it is nary a surprise there is now a pussy lift.

You Found Me How?

2011-09-12T09:28:00.004-05:00

From time to time I'll check my Feedjit & see how folks stumbled to my blog because really I am a bevy of information and great knowledge. The past couple of days the top searches were these:

David Beckham blue suit
Pictures of Motley Crue 2011
911 Flag Raising
Bo & Luke Duke
Boobs and hootchie and poison
Fingernail torn off

You feel smarter now, right?

Never Forget

2011-09-11T07:14:00.002-05:00

2011-09-08T08:52:00.000-05:00

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

2011-09-02T08:15:00.000-05:00

Post Do-Over - First Blog Post

2011-08-30T10:47:00.003-05:00

Below is my first blog post(really):

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

My First Blog

This isn't really my first blog. I blogged once about a year ago and haven't blogged since. So, here I go again. As I write this I wonder what type of blogger I will be? A serious blogger? A funny blogger? A sad blogger? A daily blogger? What exactly is a blog? An online diary? Is it really a diary when the world has the opportunity to read it without being caught in the act? Myspace without the pictures? Who knows but I must say I am most excited about being a part of the blogging community. My life is not in shambles today nor was it near ruin yesterday and safely escaping Mardi Gras has been a great victory in itself. With that being read, I must safely escape my blog for now and last but not least welcome to my blog spot.

Posted by Kimberly at 11:34 AM

Say it with me now -- CHEESEY!

2011-08-28T19:54:00.004-05:00

Have you ever thought about trademarks? Goldie Hawn's hair has remained pretty much the same after she graduated from being the Sock It To Me Gal on Laugh In. Whoopi Goldberg has her dreads. Kenny Rogers and his coiffed silver locks & facial hair. Tom Selleck's & Burt Reynold's mustaches. Ricky Boboy's ability to piss excellence in the morning. Eddie Van Halen's red & white guitar. Elton John's super flashy over the top costumes. Gene Simmon's tongue (has to be natural). Willie Nelson's braids. Dolly Parton's boobs. George Strait and his hat. Lucille Ball's red hair. Mariah Carey & her butterfly bullshit. Boy George's make-up. George Michael's 5 o' clock shadow (I mean Boy George's make up). Tina Turner's legs (again, au natural). Angus Young's school boy outfits. The Una Bomber and his hoodie. Heff & his half mullet. The mafia and their baseball bats. I mean, there are just somethings you can't fuck with.

I wonder if their style starts out as an accident & then when a subtle change happens the ratings decline & then they have to revert & it soars?

I Want To Rock n Roll All Night

2011-08-25T07:46:00.004-05:00

“The notion is that if you want to welcome me with open arms, I'm afraid you're also going to have to welcome me with open legs.” ~~ Gene Simmons

Happy Birthday Gene Simmons!

2011-08-19T22:41:00.006-05:00

Once upon a time there was semi-small brunette girl who thought of ways to save the world or at least fix her shit. In those thoughts which ran through the night and throughout most of her days she didn't get anywhere. She thought of things she should have said to this person and things she should have done in that situation. To no avail nothing ever got better and there was very little change. Not wanting to be one to fail she kept specific notes and daily affirmations in eye view as unfortunate daily reminders:

YSL Tribute Bag
Use Michael Kors store credit
Oink, Oink!
I'd like to be a MILF?
Asian Night
Wedding vows to Nikki
No fast food
Spanish
8 minutes = 1/2 mile
Do blondes really have more fun?
Mantra - "I am tall & beautiful, I love my family & they love me".
Bay window curtain rods
Cupcake practice
Where are my freakin' Costas?
Find a new (any) coke dealer
Schmooze with rich aunt
"Set me free"

As the days stroll by unforgivably, the little brunette who could's check/to do list never gets any smaller. If anything the little pink notes multiply, never decreasing.

Stupid ass lists, I hate you.

Do We Have Something In Common?

2011-08-11T08:13:00.006-05:00

Before going to work this morning I stopped at convenience store near the office to grab a bottle of water. When I pulled into the parking I saw an extremely tall, a circus's strongest man in the world type (shaved head, large build, leopard leotard) walking into the store. I guess he saw me and in seeing me saw that I was a chick and decided to stand at the door and hold it open for me. Nice, right? I saunter into the store toward the back to get my drink. I walk back to the front to pay & leave.

The tall man was standing in line and I fell in behind him. He turned to me and made a lip pursing gesture. Ok, he liked my lipstick? I looked away because it was so uncomfortable. Then he turned the other way and looked at me and licked his lips. Ok, now he has something on his mouth? All the while contorting his mouth he is having a conversation with the clerk about a job he had to do in Buckatunna, Mississippi this morning.

He pays and lingers. I pay and head for the door. He holds the door for me once again & begins to have a conversation with me. It began like this "you are hot". Did you get that lovely readers? I was hot. Before I could even say anything in rebuttal he solicits "do you want to get together?". I responded with a no, he wants to know why, I said I have a boyfriend, he says we have something in common and I say "you have a boyfriend too?". He says I have a wife and I said well that is a good reason not to. He then says "aww come on, live a little, let me get your number". I said thanks for the offer but no thanks, have a good day. He winked and I got into my car.

I assumed my boobs were all that boobs were intended to be this morning & my hair was exceptionally smooth but at the convenience store? Yep, that just happened.

Life is Tough...

2011-08-02T13:31:00.002-05:00

It is Michelob Ultra not Michelob Ultra Light.

The use of the word muse in any blog title irritates me. I have no specific reason why but it does.

Am I the only one who thinks wearing shorts, flip flops and tank tops to church is inapropriate and rude? Am I the only one who thinks bringing a soda into church to drink during a service is rude? I understand that attending church is far more casual than in the days of yore. I suppose it is true that God doesn't care what you look like as long as you show up - but shouldn't you take a little more pride in yourself?

Why is enough never enough?

When will people catch a clue and realize that their screaming kids aren't cute or even tolerable?

Why do we bitch and cry about our jobs and relationships and never immediately do anything about them?

"Life is tough, but its tougher when you're stupid". ~~ John Wayne

2011-07-26T07:51:00.003-05:00

Beacause I was a child of the 80's, Happy Birthday Roscoe P. Coltrane!

And because it would have been super cool to be a child in the 60's...Happy Birthday Mick Jagger!

Nothing & Everything

2011-07-25T11:59:00.005-05:00

Do you ever wonder why you dream the things you do? My dream last night involved the VP of the company I work for - shirtless & picking me up for work and a poodle. (I didn't eat late & I didn't eat anything weird)

A new week is upon us & I suspect that any of the things I have planned will fall through. Fall through what I have no idea but I doubt anything goes as I intend. Included in those plans are two nights in a work out class. Tonight is cardio and Thursday involves boxing. Me, a boxer, try to picture that. Another inclusion is no hooch until Friday evening which involves a large Mexican feast for 10 guests. I am already feeling the anxiety of preparing a perfect meal in a perfectly clean home.

I think of all the people in my life. I can't remember one person ever coming in or going out of my life that has caused me to stand still. That sounds awful & maybe it is. It could be why I only do things for 5 years and start over.

I wonder if when I were born and my mother first saw me did she think to herself -"there is my little fuck up". Awful, isn't it?

2011-07-21T12:28:00.000-05:00

It's Good To Be Me

2011-07-19T09:16:00.002-05:00

You have to love it when your regional district manager calls you and asks you to text him what you like from Starbucks the next morning.

My grande iced caramel macchiato - skinny with an extra shot just arrived on my desk. Ahhh, its good to be me!

Motley Crue & Poison - Biloxi

2011-07-11T15:32:00.005-05:00

Disclaimer **I am not a photographer & these pictures were taken while holding two 16oz. draft beers & attempting to keep grown men from groping my grown boobs. The picture quality is bad & I don't need to be reminded**

2011-07-11T11:56:00.001-05:00

2011-07-06T08:22:00.002-05:00

I am terrified of growing old. Older in looks, older in health, older in manners. I have probably lived almost half of my life and to think I might have another 40 years to live, well it worries me.

I see older women in their Capri pants, thick sandals and it makes my stomach hurt.

I see older men and women eating breakfast or lunch staring at each other, chewing with their mouths open and not speaking to one another.

I see older couples with their obnoxious little ankle biters sitting on the dashboard of their cars while traveling down the road.

I see older women carrying handbags with all of those awful outside compartments.

Older women in their elastic waist band pants because they now are the only comfortable things they can wear.

Older women who don't cinch their boobs up and they hang ever so vulgarly at their waist line.

Older couples watching the younger couples walk by with disdain in their eyes.

The older people who only talk about their gout, colonoscopies and doctor appointments.

The older people who apply for jobs and never get them.

The older people who are so firmly set in their ways they will never try anything new.

I saw an older lady last night, a niece of my mother's husband. I asked my mother her age and she said she was probably 57. The woman was on a motorized scooter mover. She has lost one leg and it was replaced with a prosthetic. She was using oxygen and she was large in size. Her face was very moon shaped and her movements were so slow, almost sloth like. Her hair was longer with gray in it and pulled into a barrette. She had on a blue knit suit and no bra. I noticed how her breasts just flopped (that sounds so vulgar) to the side and I doubt she had any concern with her breasts not being in correct position as they appear to be the least of her worries. I assumed someone has to take care of her on a daily basis. Instead of having sympathy for her I felt embarrassed for her. I thought of her quality of life and how I wished to never be in that shape and if I were --- I had rather not live.

I don't want to grow old. I can't stop the aging process, yet, but I am doing all I can to slow it down.

He's A Yankee Doodle Dandy....

2011-07-01T12:27:00.001-05:00

He's a Yankee Doodle Boy!

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Price Survey

2011-06-30T11:05:00.002-05:00

$3.32 !!!! The 4th of July is just days away and the gas price per gallon is creeping down. I may not have to take another mortgage out on my home now and I can discontinue the selling of my body to dirty old men. Things are looking up!

Sing Along Time

2011-06-29T11:31:00.002-05:00

Such good stuff...

Well, I've got to run to keep from hidin',
And I'm bound to keep on ridin'.
And I've got one more silver dollar,
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no,
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

And I don't own the clothes I'm wearing,
And the road goes on forever,
And I've got one more silver dollar,
But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

And I've gone past the point of caring,
Some old bed I'll soon be sharing,
And I've got one more silver dollar,

But I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

No, I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

No, I'm not gonna let 'em catch me, no
Not gonna let 'em catch the Midnight Rider.

Midnight Rider ~~ Allman Brothers

Chickens & Cats - You Decide

2011-06-28T08:07:00.006-05:00

While eating my Chobani yogurt and reading the news this morning, I came across this irritating article . When did gender neutralization become the "it" thing? Girls are girls regardless of their sexual orientation or preference. Boys are boys in the same way. Girls can get pregnant, boys can't. Girls have a menstrual cycle, boys don't. Boys grow facial and chest hair, most girls don't. Boys have an Adam's apple, girls don't. Grown men have throbbing hard cocks, um, most girls don't. Grown women have breasts that can nurture and feed their own children, men don't. Girls wear make up and its not really cool for boys to. Teaching a child to be who they want to be is one thing but not teaching a child what is appropriate for little boys and what is appropriate for little girls is another. "Little Jimmy you have a penis because you are a boy. Boys have a penis". "Little Kathy, you have a vagina because you are a girl. Girls have vaginas". "No little Jimmy you can't have a vagina because you have a penis and Little Kathy you can't have a penis because you have a vagina". "Yes, I know you were taught to choose what you wanted to be but Mother Nature made the choice for you. I am sorry I can't change that and misled you into a confusing decision".

When I was a wee little thing I played trucks with my boy cousins. Those same cousins played dolls with me. I even had a pair of boy cowboy boots and wore a football jersey. I wasn't trying to decide if wanted to be a boy or girl I was only wearing what I liked. Does anyone remember It's Pat from Saturday Night Live? To me, that was one of the most disturbing skits in entertainment history. No one knew what the fuck Pat was so no one knew how to treat her/him/it. So raise your kids to let them decide if they want to be a boy or girl. Let them be mistreated and bullied at school because the boys sit down to pee and carry a purse because you said it was ok. Let the girls use the same locker room as the boys so she can be labeled the school whore because in your eyes there should be equality. All of your precious little creatures will end up right here as an embarrassing joke for the entire world to enjoy. Go right ahead and may your life be as miserable as you have made theirs.

My True Weirdness

2011-06-27T09:28:00.002-05:00

I think bruises are sexy. No, not a blacked eye type of bruise. Nope, not a stawberry/bruise caused by sliding into second base. Uh-uh, not the type of bruises elderly folks get because they just barely bumped a counter edge. The kind of bruise I admire is one right above the knee, on your hip, not very dark just barely blue under the skin. Possibly caused by somone holding onto you ever so tightly.

I am weird but am wonderful in my weirdness!

Wooo-Hoooo!

2011-06-24T07:14:00.002-05:00

Eight more hours & this 'effin week is ovah! Happy thoughts & good drinks to you all!

A British Invasion Plus Two

2011-06-21T14:39:00.000-05:00

Heart was the opening act for Def Leppard at the Wharf Amphitheater (make your jokes if you must). Ann Wilson hasn't lost it...she still has a major set of pipes on her.

Que Def Leppard. Joe Elliot even did wardrobe changes. Anyone who can wear leather in Orange Beach, Alabama during June is a rock n roll god to me. They finished their set & encored with Rock Of Ages.

"Thank you. We'll be back. Don't forget about us, we won't forget about you". ~~ Joe Elliot, Def Leppard

2011-06-15T09:59:00.000-05:00

Celebrate and Grab Some Buds!

2011-06-14T08:24:00.000-05:00

Don't blink, blink and you're dead.

Go West Young Man

2011-06-10T11:43:00.003-05:00

Its Friday. Just thought I'd drop that morsel of happiness to you all in case none of you knew. At 1:00 pm today I will be heading slightly west to New Orleans for a weekend of relaxing and doing much of nothing else. I shall think of you all when I am sipping my rum runner at Margaritaville, drinking a hurricane at Pat O'Brien's, having beignets and cafe ole at Cafe Du Monde and finally eating dinner at the Commander's Palace.

Have a good weekend!

2011-06-09T12:23:00.001-05:00

It won't be long now. A month to be exact and this will be the site to behold around Biloxi as my long time beau will be in town. Speak if you see us and I'll be sure to send drinks over.

All Aboard the Cougar Train

2011-06-09T10:07:00.000-05:00

An employee has jumped ship. He has swam toward the horizon for larger and grander things. Before going overboard we had a little bye-bye for him. It started at Champy's with Champy's Lager, then onto California Dreaming with vodka cocktails and finishing at Stix with Salty Dogs.

Arriving at Stix we all chose to be seated at the bar and only 6 of us were in tow. Nate, the man of the hour, chose a seat between his wife and an anonymous woman. Beside the anonymous woman was one more anonymous woman. Anonymous lady no. 1 was in hot pursuit of some young dick. Nate wasn't in rare form but a good form and he was hamming it up in Cougarville. Anonymous lady no. 2 asked me in drunken whisper if that was his wife and I told her yes. Anonymous no. 2 began to tell Anonymous no. 1 that he was married and that was his wife. It didn't matter she was still trying to work it and she was working it hard. I believe I heard this "You've been a bad boy, now go to MY bedroom". It was pure spectacle for the rest of us to behold.

Before departing we all got around to names. I asked Anonymous lady no. 2 what her name was. Before we get to her name I'll share with you that she was large, had a severe Cajun accent and had dark frizzy hair. Her response "Coffee". I repeated it to her. She said "yes because I like to grind", all while actually grinding on the bar stool. 'Effin' awesome!

Price Survey

2011-06-08T14:19:00.002-05:00

Right now gas is $3.50 at Sam's Club, at other c-stores the price is $3.53 - $3.55. That is down $.06 in less than a week. I truly believe it is the calm before the storm. I am on a beach route and I expect gas prices to sky rocket as the 4th of July holiday weekend approaches.

WTF?!

No Suprise

2011-06-06T14:26:00.004-05:00

By now most of you are aware that I have high affinity for good manners and a low tolerance for bad ones. So I'll jump right in - last Thursday I was having lunch at a not so fancy place called Zaxby's. There were two seat choices in the whole establishment and one was near the garbage can which is the one I should have chosen but I didn't. Seated at a table across the aisle to the left of me was three tweens and/or teens, a younger boy maybe 9 and a mother figure who sat at the head of her table. The mother was a heavy set short lady with dark short hair and no make up. She had on mom jeans, flip flops and a cute top. When she wasn't stuffing her cake hole with her salad, chewing with her mouth open or talking with her mouth full she was texting on her phone. Her posture was manly as she ate with her wrists on the table and her legs weren't crossed, her knees not together nor were her ankles tucked one behind the other. After the kids had eaten they were wadding up their straw wrappers, holding one side of their nose and sucking the wrapper up and placing it on top of their drink cup.

I can't help it and it is none of my business if she sat in the middle of table and ate with her feet but I CAN NOT HELP IT. Bad manners are just that, BAD.

Price Survey

2011-06-03T07:44:00.000-05:00

The cost has decreased...gas is now $3.59 per gallon in my area. What about you?

In or Out?

2011-05-31T14:11:00.003-05:00

If you work in an office do you leave for lunch or do you eat in at your desk or in the break room? If you eat in, why? Is it because you only have a 30 minute break? Because it is economical? Because you don't eat out in public alone? Because you have no car? Because you have a food allergy which prohibits you to only foods you can prepare?

Do you drink coffee? Do you drink it from the company pot, make it at home or stop for one on the way in?

Whether eating or shopping I always leave the office for lunch. If I have to work through lunch and the only choices are to order in I won't eat at all.

I drink coffee at home on Sunday only. I rarely drink it at the office from the company pot. In the rare times I do is when I have a fru-fru creamer otherwise I'll have Starbucks on the way in.

What about you?

2011-05-30T07:14:00.000-05:00

2011-05-27T12:49:00.000-05:00

What To My Wondering Eyes Should Appear...

2011-05-26T08:21:00.003-05:00

A little bitty Heff with prickly head gear.

Extra! Extra!

2011-05-25T08:36:00.005-05:00

I read this article on yahoo! news. The article is about a 4 month old child named Storm. Storm's parents have chosen to keep the child's gender a secret from the world so that in growing Storm may choose who he or she wants to be. Did you get that? They aren't treating the child as a boy or girl so the child can decide later on who they want to become. I can't imagine not treating your child as the boy or girl they were born as. It seems to me it is freak parenting such as this that causes the person in the cube next to you to sport a pink crew cut, the season's newest wedges, camouflage pants while running their Jack Hawk 2000 across their tongue. The kid in question has two other siblings - Jazz and Koi - who are also allowed to shop in either the boy's or girl's section and whether or not they cut their hair. Thank goodness they are all home schooled otherwise they would be the target of some playground bullying. Not to mention the father is a teacher.

I get the idea of be who you want to become such as a teacher, mother, astronaut, used car salesman, shade tree mechanic but having to decide early on in life if you want to be a boy or girl just sounds difficult, confusing. What happens when a 16 year old boy wants to use the ladies' restroom? Or when a 12 year old gets her "monthly friend" but had chosen earlier on to be a boy?

Am I the only one who thinks this is a completely distorted way of raising a child? Generally when there is a mid-wife in the picture, the parents are freaks anyway.

No Doomsday

2011-05-23T10:43:00.003-05:00

As Saturday arrived and went with no volcanic eruptions or any violent ground shaking I had decided to spend the day in the pool. I spent the day floating around with orange soda and whipped cream vodka and clearly not one hint of SPF. Ouch.

I hope everyone is happy to be ALIVE and WELL in the world, burned boobies or not!

Tomorrow...

2011-05-20T11:22:00.002-05:00

According to Evangelist Harold Campling tomorrow is judgement day. You can read his interview here.

Sure I am making light of his prediction due to scripture noting that not anyone will know the hour, nor the day of Jesus' return. But just in case tomorrow is the end of our world and you should try to call me and I do not answer it will be because I am under the covers clutching my dogs, handbags and sipping my final dirty martini and muttering to myself.

I love you all!

Sing Alone Time

2011-05-17T07:55:00.002-05:00

I have strong feelings for Billy Joel.

Got a call from an old friend
We used to be real close
Said he couldn't go on the American way
Closed the shop, sold the house
Bought a ticket to the West Coast
Now he gives them a stand-up routine in L.A.

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance
(I never said you had to)
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
(I never said)
I still belong, don't get me wrong
You can speak your mind
But not on my time

They will tell you, you can't sleep alone in a strange place
Then they'll tell you, you can't sleep with somebody else
Ah, but sooner or later you sleep in your own space
Either way it's okay to wake up with yourself

I don't need you to worry for me cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

I never said you had to offer me a second chance
(I never said you had to)
I never said I was a victim of circumstance
(Of cirumstance)
I still belong, don't get me wrong
You can speak your mind
But not on my time

I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life
Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone

Keep it to yourself, it's my life.)

It's My Life ~~ Billy Joel

I Am Not A Doctor...

2011-05-16T10:46:00.004-05:00

But I play one on my blog. One of our on-premise team members was picking up the draft caddy from an event this weekend. The neck of the draft caddy slipped and he tried to catch it which resulted in his fingernail being ripped off (notice the other well manicured nails).

Happy Birthday!

2011-05-12T08:29:00.000-05:00

Gracie Smacie also known by code name "The Booper" is 9 years old today. Happy Birthday to the cutest booty in the world!

I Believe...

2011-05-09T09:04:00.004-05:00

That I could organize my life with Ziploc storage bags.

In long boozy lunches.

Very recently in the laws of attraction.

That Dior, Gucci, Chanel are some of the most beautiul words in the world.

That Texas really is a state of mind.

That it was Bobby Boucher who was really the devil.

That I would rather have no life than a sad life.

That it could always be worse.

That it could always be better.

If Mick Mars could give up vodka so could I.

That forever is as long as you want it to be.

Arriba! Arriba!

2011-05-05T07:24:00.001-05:00

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Price Survey

2011-05-04T08:17:00.003-05:00

I paid $3.85 per gallon for regular gasonline yesterday. $25.01 put 6.54 gallons of petro in my car.

And just one small little thing that has nothing to do with gas prices:

It is a bit chilly in my locale this morning. There is a sweet breeze so I opened my office window. It's nicely brisk and I like it. A co-worker of mine (you've heard me speak of this person) was barking about being cold & then saw my window open and said "are you hot?". "Nope, I am not". "I like the breeze". "Well its affecting everyone else". There are a total of 4 people in the office right now & I am 1 and they are 2. They then begin chattering - well you have on two long sleeve shirts and I said nope, its a sleeveless top and as you can see my "girls" are nearly exposed, a cardigan and flip flops to boot. So they scoff, "well then you are just hot natured and it is affecting everyone else". Yep, nope.

I mean really? This person is pushing the age of 65. I am sure their blood is a little thinner and if it is so chilly outside this morning, maybe they should have dressed more accordingly due to all of their wordly knowledge. (this is the same person who gives me a breakdown of what they are packing for a 3 day trip to sit in a hospital) Bless their heart.

Sing Along Time

2011-05-03T09:41:00.002-05:00

A new favorite

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones?
I guess that we were once
Babe, we were once

But luck will leave you cause
It is a faithless friend
And in the end when life has got you down
You've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around

So hold on to me tight
Hold on to me tonight
We are stronger here together
Than we could ever be alone
So hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart
But it's no one's fault
No it's not my fault

Maybe all the plans we made would not work out
But I have no doubt even though it's hard to see
I've got faith in us and I believe in you and me

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause it's you and me together
And baby all we've got is time
So hold on to me, hold on to me tonight

There's so many dreams that we have given up
Take a look at all we've got
And with this kind of love
What we've got here is enough

So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright
Cause we are stronger here together
Then we could ever be alone
Just hold on to me
Don't you ever let me go
Hold on to me, it's gonna be alright
Hold on to me tonight
They always say we were the lucky ones

Hold On ~~ Michael Buble

500th Post

2011-05-02T09:24:00.004-05:00

Osama Bin Laden = dead. Because I am skeptic I believe something incredibly fishy is going on with this whole thing. A death, DNA testing & a burial at sea all with in 24 hours? I need to see a picture and you know there has to be some smarmy military personnel who either has a picture of theirself with the deceased or recorded the whole episode. And don't for one minute think that the Navy Seal who squeezed off the fatal bullet won't tell someone. How could you keep something of this caliber to yourself? If this is true, then as always my hat's off to soilder who completed the deed. God Bless America.

"The dream to kill me will never be completed." ~~ Osama Bin Laden

(I can't believe my 500th post is about the pending death of Osama Bin Laden - Happy 500 to me!)

Royal Wishes for the Royal Couple

2011-04-29T07:05:00.004-05:00

Much love, happiness and good luck to William and Kate. May the best of their past be the worst of their future.

2011-04-28T09:42:00.002-05:00

I love Sex and the City. Love, love, love the series, love all of the characters and the 1st movie. Ok, now the real reason for this post: Sara Jessica Parker. She doesn't seem to be aging very well as you can see in the pics below. She used to be the fresh faced curly haired girl that could. Now she seems more the what can I do to look good gal who tries to hard - her curls are mostly gone & she is too tan and somehow school marmie. The top picture is from earlier in the series and the bottom picture is from SATC 2.

I always thought she had an amazing body but as she is getting older and with the tanning or fake tanning it is not doing much for her skin.

Sorry SJP this is not a slam because I do love you but give us back the curly headed girl who could.

Yesterday When I was Young

2011-04-26T08:49:00.004-05:00

In 2009 I exclaimed this to the world. Not one utterance about my former life until today and that is because last night I dreamed that my ex-husband had not come home the night before and it was 6 am the following morning. I was going to wait for him to come home before I showered for work. Then in a panic I took a shower. When I got out of the shower he was crawling into bed. I asked him where he had been and he said he had stayed with Jennifer McGooGoo. Then I asked if he slept with her and he made an odd gesture with his head and said yes. I slapped his stomach and I told him I was leaving. He said good because he couldn't take it anymore. I stopped and said really? And he went into detail about how poor our marriage was and asked me how long I thought it would last and I said I hoped it would last forever. We hugged and said we loved each other. Then I woke up.

I don't know what triggered these thoughts into my subconscious. The feeling and emotion in the dream was so strong and I could feel the hurt rolling through my body. I was glad to awake and find it was a dream and that I wasn't reliving something I've tried so hard to put behind me.

Stupid dreams.

**The title of this post has nothing to do with the content**

Jealous, O' Jealous...

2011-04-25T11:34:00.005-05:00

I was out of working commission a couple of days last week because I was sunning by buns here at the Caribe.

While my buns were getting toasty I was lubricating my throat (keep those dirty thoughts to yourself) with banana daiquiris.

Don't be jealous now, I drank one for all of you.